Criminal Jokes / Recent Jokes
Detective: Why did you dump those vegetables on my desk? Criminal: You said it was time to spill the beans.
It was Rockys first night in the penitentiary. All of the inmates were intheir cells and he was trying to become a bit more comfortable with hismeager surroundings. As he leaned against the bars at the front of hiscell, Rocky heard a voice call out "44" and the whole cell block eruptedinto laughter! Another voice called "16" and again there was laughter. Athird voice called "62" which was followed by laughter throughout the block. Rocky didnt know what was going on so he rapped on his cell wall."Yeah, whaddaya want?" came the gruff reply from next door."Whats going on, here?" asked Rocky."Well," said the other inmate, "down in the prison library theres only onejoke book. Weve all read the book so many times that we dont waste timetelling the joke, we just call out its number."So the next day Rocky went down to the library and, sure enough, found r theyellowed, dog-eared joke book and read it from cover to cover. more...
Policeman: Did you know your vehicle was reported stolen? Criminal: It wasn't when I took it.
An inmate on death row was scheduled to die before the firing squad the following morning. Throughout the day, the prison guards were very nice to him. But, when they asked him if there was something specific he wished to have for his last meal, he said he didn't want anything special. When they asked if there was something special he wanted to do, he said nothing. It continued like this all day.
Finally, when he was put before the firing squad the guard asked if he would like a cigarette and a blindfold.
"No," the inmate said, "just get it over with."
"Is there anything at all I can do for you before you go?" asked the guard. "You didn't even request a special last meal!"
The inmate thought for a moment, and replied, "Well, actually, music is my life. The one thing I would really like would be to sing my favorite song, one whole time through, without any interruptions."
The guard nodded and told the inmate to go more...
A boy is in a prison cell with no windows and no doors: there are no holes in the ceiling or trapdoors in the floor, yet in the morning the jailers find him gone. How did he get out? Through the doorway - there were no doors remember!
What did the burglar say to the lady who caught him stealing her silver? I'm at your service, ma'am.
What hired killer never goes to jail? The exterminator.