Criminal Jokes / Recent Jokes
As he surveyed the jurors in the courthouse, a wave of panic came over the criminal. Certain that he wouldn't beat the murder rap, he somehow got a hold of one of the jurors and bribed her with his life savings if she would go for a verdict of manslaughter.
Much to his relief, at the end of the trial the jury did convict him of manslaughter. Tears welling in his eyes he managed to have a moment with the juror before being led to prison. "Thank you, thank you, thank you. How on earth did you manage it?" he asked.
"It sure wasn't an easy task," she admitted. "They all wanted to acquit you!"
This is 'apparently' a true story.
A guy with a shotgun walked in to a small corner store and demanded all the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier had placed all the money in a bag, the robber noticed a bottle of liquor he wanted on a shelf behind the counter. He demanded that the cashier put the bottle in the bag too, but the cashier refused and said, "I can't do that because I don't believe you're of legal drinking age."
The robber insisted that he was, but still the clerk didn't believe him and refused to give him the bottle. The robber then took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk.
After looking over the license, the clerk agreed that the robber was of legal drinking age and put the bottle of liquor in the bag. The robber then fled the store with his loot.
The clerk quickly called the police, giving them the name and address of the robber which he had gotten from the driver's license.
A couple of hours later the more...
If you crossed a gangster and a garbage man, what would you have? Organised grime (crime).
What is the difference between a thief and a church bell? One steals from the people, the other peals, from the steeple.