Crossing Jokes / Recent Jokes

Teacher To get to the other side.
Plato For the greater good.
Aristotle It is in the nature of chickens to cross roads.
Karl Marx It was a historical inevitability.
Timothy Leary Because that's the only trip the establishment would let it take.
Saddam Hussein This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite
justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
Ronald Reagan I forget.
Captain James T. Kirk To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
Andersen Consulting Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was
threatening it's dominant market position. The chicken was faced with
significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the
newly competitive market. Anderson Consulting, in a partnering relationship with
the client, helped the chicken by rethinking it's physical distribution strategy
and implementation process. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Anderson
helped the more...

Sometimes, it seems like some people are just plain *doomed*. If you don't believe it, consider these weird incidents: *In 1976 a twenty-two-year-old Irishman, Bob Finnegan, was crossing the busy Falls Road in Belfast, when he was struck by a taxi and flung over its roof. The taxi drove away and, as Finnegan lay stunned in the road, another car ran into him, rolling him into the gutter. It too drove on. As a knot of gawkers gathered to examine the magnetic Irishman, a delivery van plowed through the crowd, leaving in its wake three injured bystanders and an even more battered Bob Finnegan. When a fourth vehicle came along, the crowd wisely scattered and only one person was hit - Bob Finnegan. In the space of two minutes Finnegan suffered a fractured skull, broken pelvis, broken leg, and other assorted injuries. Hospital officials said he would recover. *While motorcycling through the Hungarian countryside, Cristo Falatti came up to a railway line just as the crossing gates were coming more...

Why did the chicken cross the road? KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side. PLATO: For the greater good of man. ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads. KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability. TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that's the only trip the establishment would let it take. SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it. RONALD REAGAN: I forget. CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before. HIPPOCRATES: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas. ANDERSEN CONSULTING: Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using more...

A fierce gust of wind blew 45-year-old Vittorio Luise's car into a river near Naples, Italy, in 1983. He managed to break a window, climb out and swim to shore -- where a tree blew over and killed him.

Mike Stewart, 31, of Dallas was filming a movie in 1983 on the dangers of low-level bridges when the truck he was standing on passed under a low-level bridge -- killing him.

Walter Hallas, a 26-year-old store clerk in Leeds, England, was so afraid of dentists that in 1979 he asked a fellow worker to try to cure his toothache by punching him in the jaw. The punch caused Hallas to fall down, hitting his head, and he died of a fractured skull.

Two West German motorists had an all-too-literal head-on collision in heavy fog near the small town of Guetersloh. Each was guiding his car at a snail's pace near the center of the road. At the moment of impact their heads were both out of the windows when they smacked together. Both men were hospitalized with severe more...

Question: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Answers:
KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side.
PLATO: For the greater good.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross
KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability
TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that's the only trip the establishment would let it take.
SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
RONALD REAGAN: I forget.
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before
HIPPOCRATES: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.
LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you see, represents the black man. The chicken' crossed' the black man in order to trample him and keep him down.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
MOSES: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the more...