Cruise Jokes / Recent Jokes
He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life - that is, until the ship sank. He found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing; only bananas and coconuts. After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to the shore. In disbelief, he asks, “Where did you come from? How did you get here? ”
She replies, “I rowed from the other side of the island. I landed here when my cruise ship sank. ”
“Amazing, ” he notes. “You were really lucky to have a row boat wash up with you. ”
“Oh, this thing? ” explains the woman. “I made the boat out of raw material I found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum tree branches. I wove the bottom from palm branches, and the sides and stern came from a Eucalyptus tree. ”
“But, where did you get the tools? ”
“Oh, that was no problem, ” replied the woman. “On the south side more...
The Top 10 Reasons Disney Delayed Launching Their Cruise Line
Pluto's "accident" on Deck 3
Room service using Aladdin was getting out of hand.
Exterminator killed off "rat" problem only to discover they were Mickey and Minnie's cousins.
Drunken dispute between Donald and The Mighty Ducks over who was mightier.
Charo kept showing up.
The Beast from "Beauty and the Beast" kept eating the midnight buffet.
The Seven Dwarfs vandalized the ship after failing to meet the "You Must Be This Tall to Ride This Ride" Requirements.
Stench of seawater and 101 Dalmations was too strong.
Tour guide Goofy goes into drunken rampage and uses Chip and Dale as Shuffleboard discs.
New hires Doc, Isaac, and Gopher quit days before launch, citing that this job is not as "exciting and new" as their last one.
A Blonde walks into a Restaraunt, and she goes straight to the bulletin board in the back. She looks at the bulletin board and sees a piece of paper that sais "Ocean Cruise Only 5$".
She pulls the piece of paper off the wall and goes to the address listed on the back of paper. She walks into the building and hands the secretary the piece of paper.
The secretary nods and asks if she had the five dollars. The blonde nods and pulls five dollars out of her pocket and hands it to the secretary.
The secretary looks over to a burly black guy reading a news paper. She nods to the black guy. He stands up and knocks the blonde unconcious.
When the blonde wakes up, she's tied to a log and is floating down river. She started to think that this was a bad idea, when all of a sudden she sees one of her friends, (who is also blonde) tied to a log floating right next to her.
The blonde she looks at her freind and says "So do you think they're going to serve us some more...
A Blonde walks into a Restaraunt, and she goes straight to the bulletin board in the back. She looks at the bulletin board and sees a piece of paper that sais "Ocean Cruise Only 5$".She pulls the piece of paper off the wall and goes to the address listed on the back of paper. She walks into the building and hands the secretary the piece of paper.The secretary nods and asks if she had the five dollars. The blonde nods and pulls five dollars out of her pocket and hands it to the secretary.The secretary looks over to a burly black guy reading a news paper. She nods to the black guy. He stands up and knocks the blonde unconcious.When the blonde wakes up, she's tied to a log and is floating down river. She started to think that this was a bad idea, when all of a sudden she sees one of her friends, (who is also blonde) tied to a log floating right next to her.The blonde she looks at her freind and says "So do you think they're going to serve us some food on this more...
Three men are out fishing one afternoon talking about this and that when one of the men says, "You know, my wife did the strangest thing the other day. She came home with 100 lbs of meat. I only say this is strange because we're vegetarians and don't eat meat." One of the other men says, "You think that's weird. My wife came home with 100 lbs of dog food the other day. I don't know what she was thinking. We don't even own a dog and I'm allergic to dogs." The other man says, "Well, you think that's wierd. I've got both of you beat. My wife recently won a cruise and she's going with some female friends. So, she was out shopping the other day getting ready for this cruise and she came home with 100 condoms. She doesn't even have a penis!"
A man who worked in a cruise liner as a magician had a parrot and every time the man did a trick the parrot yelled, "it`s in the pocket," "it`s in the pocket," the magician would do another trick and the parrot yelled, "it`s in the hat", "it`s in the hat."
One day during his act the cruise liner had a problem and the ship sunk. The parrot came up from the water and looking confused said; "NOW WHERE DID HE HIDE THE SHIP."
A guy goes to a travel agent and books a two-week cruise for himself and his girlfriend. A couple days before the cruise, the travel agent calls and says the cruise has been canceled, but he can get them on a three-day cruise instead.
The guy says "OK," and goes to the pharmacy to buy three Dramamine and three condoms.
Next day, the agent calls back and says he now can book a five-day cruise. The guy says he'll take it.
He returns to the same pharmacy and buys two more Dramamine and two more condoms.
The following day, the travel agent calls again and says he can now book an eight-day cruise.
The guy says, "OK," and goes back to the drug store and asks for three more Dramamine and three more condoms.
Finally, the pharmacist asks, "Look, if having sex makes you sick, how come you keep doing it?"