Crush Jokes

In a move IBM offices are hailing as a major step in the company's ongoing worldwide telecommunications revolution, M'wana Ndeti, a member of Zaire's Bantu tribe, used an IBM global uplink network modem yesterday to crush a nut.
Ndeti, who spent twenty minutes trying to open the nut by hand, easily cracked it open by smashing it repeatedly with the powerful modem.
"I could not crush the nut by myself," said the forty-seven-year-old Ndeti, who added the savory nut to a thick, peanut-based soup minutes later. "With IBM's help, I was able to break it."
Ndeti discovered the nut-breaking, 28.8 V.34 modem yesterday, when IBM was shooting a commercial in his southwestern Zaire village. During a break in shooting, which shows African villagers eagerly teleconferencing via computer with Japanese schoolchildren, Ndeti snuck onto the set and took the modem, which he believed would serve well as a "smashing" utensil.
IBM officials were not surprised more...

M'wana Ndeti, a member of Zaire's Bantu tribe, used an IBM global uplink network modem yesterday
to crush a nut.
Ndeti, who spent 20 minutes trying to open the nut by hand, easily cracked it open by smashing it
repeatedly with the powerful modem.
"I could not crush the nut by myself," said the 47-year-old Ndeti, who added the savory nut to a
thick, peanut-based soup minutes later. "With IBM's help, I was able to break it." Ndeti discovered
the nut-breaking, 28. 8 V. 34 modem yesterday, when IBM was shooting a commercial in his southwestern
Zaire village. During a break in shooting, which shows African villagers eagerly teleconferencing via
computer with Japanese school children, Ndeti snuck onto the set and took the modem, which he
believed would serve well as a "smashing" utensil.
IBM officials were not surprised the longtime computer giant was able to provide Ndeti with practical
solutions to his more...

I could crush him like an ant. But it would be too easy. No, revenge is a dish best served cold. I'll bide my time.... Oh what the hell. I'll just crush him like an ant.

You're an 80's child if...

1. You had a crush on one of the New Kids on the Block members.
2. You wanted to be on StarSearch. (Come on, we all did)
3. You can remember what Michael Jackson looked like before his nose fell off.
4. Or even when he had those freaky eyes in' 'Thriller'' at the end of the video.
5. You wore a banana clip or one of those slap on wrist bands at some point during your youth.
6. You wore french rolls on the bottom of your splatter painted jeans.
7. You had slouch socks, and puff painted your own shirt at least once.
8. You owned a doll with' Xavier Roberts' signed on it's butt.
9. You knew what Willis was' 'talkin'' bout.''
10. You know the profound meaning of' 'Wax on, Wax off.''
11. You can name at least half of the members of the elite' 'Brat Pack.''
12. You can remember watching Full House and Saved by the Bell for endless hours!!!!!!
13. You have seen at least 10 episodes of Fraggle more...

Q: Whats the difference between a crush, lust, and love?
A: Spitting, swallowing and gargling!