Crying Jokes

There's this little guy sitting inside a bar, just looking at his drink. He sits motionless, staring
like that for half-an-hour.
Then, this big guy breezes into the bar, steps next to him, reaches over, takes the drink from this
poor guy, and just drinks it all down. At that, the poor man starts crying.
The big guy, embarrassed, says: "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I
just can't stand to see a man crying."
"No, it's not that," replies the little guy. "It's just that today is the worst day of my life!"
" First, I overslept and was late to an important meeting. My boss, who has a furious temper, fired
me! Then, when I left the building, I found out that my car had been stolen! The police filled out
some forms, but said they could do nothing."
"So next I got a cab to return home, and after I paid the cab driver and the cab had gone, I found
that I left my more...

One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a river, his axe fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "Why are you crying?" The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into water, and he needed the axe to make his living.
The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.
The woodcutter replied, "No."
The Lord again went down and came up with a silver axe.?
"Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.
Again, the woodcutter replied, "No."
The Lord went down again and came up with an iron axe.?
"Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.
The woodcutter replied, "Yes."
The Lord was pleased with the man's honesty and gave him all three axes to keep, and the woodcutter went home happy.
Some time later the woodcutter was walking with his wife along the riverbank, and his wife fell into the river. more...

One day 3 guys are in an airplane, An American, a Spaniard, and an Egyptian. Suddenly the plane gets to heavy while its over Egypt.
So the Egyptian throws a model of the Pyramids overboard. When he gets down he finds the boy crying.
Why are you crying little boy? He asks.
Im crying cause a pyramid fell on my head.
The plane gets back in the air and it is still too heavy. So the Spaniard throws a toy bull off the plane. He gets down and finds a boy crying.
Why are you crying little boy? He asks.
Im crying cause a toy bull fell on my head.
The plane goes back into the air and its still too heavy. The American then throws a pipe bomb out the overboard. He gets down and finds the boy laughing his guts out.
Why the hell are you laughing so hard?
Im laughing cuz when I farted the building behind me went boooooooooom!

One day, when a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river, her thimble fell into the river. When she cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "My dear child, why are you crying?"
The seamstress replied that her thimble had fallen into the water and that she needed it to help her husband in making a living for their family.
The Lord dipped His hand into the water and pulled up a golden thimble set with pearls. "Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked. The seamstress replied, "No."
The Lord again dipped into the river. He held out a silver thimble ringed with sapphires "Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked. Again, the seamstress replied, "No."
The Lord reached down again and came up with a leather thimble. "Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked.
The seamstress replied, "Yes."
The Lord was pleased with the woman's honesty and gave her all three thimbles to keep, and the seamstress went more...

This just breaks my heart... please pass it on so
more can help this unfortunate child...

> Dear Friend:
> I am a very sick boy little boy. My mother is typing
> this for me, because I can't. She is crying.
> Don't cry, Mommy! Mommy is always sad, but she says
> it's not my fault. I asked her if it was God's fault,
> but she didn't answer, and only started crying harder,
> so I don't ask her that anymore.
> The reason she is so sad is that I'm so sick. I was
> born without a body. It doesn't hurt, except when I go
> to sleep.
> The doctors gave me an artificial body. My body is a
> burlap bag filled with leaves. The doctors said that
> was the best they could do on account of us having no
> money or insurance. I would like to have a body
> transplant, but we need more money.
> Mommy doesn't work because she said employers don't
> hire crying people. I said, "Don't cry, Mommy," and more...