Cunt Jokes / Recent Jokes

The boy asks his dad:"What's the difference between a' cunt' and a' pussy'?" The dad gets a Penthouse magazine, draws a circle around acrotch and says: "Everything inside the circle is a' pussy', everything outside the circle is a' cunt'"

in a swer two tampons are raceing two peroid pads one says too the other there suck up the cunt ha ha

Tommy comes home one day and asks his father what a cunt is. His father takes him up to the bedroom where his wife is sleeping and takes of the covers. He points to the area between her legs and explains that is called a vagina, and the other 160 pounds is the cunt.

A young guy Pete, picks up this beatiful blone woman at a outback pub.
Highly impressed with his appeal to women he takes this blonde
home and seduces her. He first sticks one finger and tries to feel
the virginal walls but with no luck. He then sticks two and then
his whole hand in with absolutely no luck. Her hole is far too big.
He then sticks both his hands and feels around. Still no luck!!
Pissed off as he is he stick one leg and then both legs and still
has no luck. He then sticks his hands, legs and his head in and
falls into her hole.
It is pitch dark inside her cunt but fortunately he had a torch
with him and he looks around and accidently drops the torch. Anyway
while trying to feel around for the torch he feels a touch on
his back. He finds another guy John lost inside the blondes cunt as
well
Pete: Oh Hi, Listen, if we find my torch we can find our way out
John: Don't bother find my car keys and more...

Once upon a time, there once was a traveling salesman who's wife was a well known sex addict. But because the man could not be home all of the time, he often worried about his wife's faithfullness. He had noticed that she had been eyeing the young neighbor boy who cut their lawn recently. So one day the man decided to try to do something about this. After work the man entered a sexual aid shop and asked the owner to show him the selection of dildos."Why yes, of course." said the owner, "We have a very wide selection."But after looking for quite a long time, the man just did not find anything that satisfied him."Well, maybe I have just what you need." remarked the owner, "Wait here."And with that, the owner ran into the back and started digging around for quite some time. After about twenty minutes, the owner finally came out carrying a strange, rectangular box with ancient writing all over it. He set the box down on the counter and opened it for more...

a gal asked a boy, "do u think im pretty?"
"no"
"if i left wud u cry?"
"no"
"wud u like to touch my cunt?"
"no"
the girl felt hurt and walked away. but...
the guy grabbed her arm and turned her around
"ur not pretty, ur beautiful
if u left i wudnt cry, id die
i wudnt like to touch ur cunt, id like to be in ur cunt!"
and he shoved her into the bed and fucked her

It's time to tell the truth about Smurfs.
You see, Smurfs are a lot like other folks; they have dreams and ambitions, deep, thoughtful conversations with each other, and good and bad times.
"But," people ask, "do Smurfs have..... you know,...... *sex*?"
The answer is an emphatic and resounding YES!
And why shouldn't they? They're people, too.
What *most* people don't know is why Smurfs are blue. Well, the reason is because Smurfs only have sex once a year.
Face it: if you had sex only once a year, you'd be blue, too.
Once a year, in the Smurf village, flags and banners fly happily in the breeze, proclaiming that the day of the annual Smuckfest has arrived. Birds sing and the Sun comes out to watch, despite the weatherSmurf's direst predictions.
I guess good ol' Mr. Sun is a voyeur.
In the middle of town, Papa Smurf gives a brief speech explaining the origin of the Smuckfest; how Dr. C. Everett Koop came to the village more...