Customs Jokes / Recent Jokes

A Denton, Texas man was arrested for filing a false police report after he called 911 to report... his own murder. The man told the operator he had been "murdered, beaten, possibly kidnapped and thrown down on a bed of spikes." Police found the man a short time later, still on the convenience store pay-phone he had used to make the call. "It was obvious he hadn't been murdered," said one of the arresting officers.NO... WE'RE JUST GLAD TO SEE YOUTwo wildlife collectors were caught at a Texas border crossing when Customs agents found snakes in their underwear. The men had tied the snakes into pantyhose and stuffed them into their groin area to sneak them across the border from Mexico. Customs inspectors noticed the bulges were wiggling and ordered the pair to drop their pants. The inspectors found 14 snakes - including a boa constrictor - hidden in the men's pants, boots and pickup truck. The inspectors say they suspected at first that the men were smuggling more...

(Washington DC) Two men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper off their truck. Scared, they left the scene and drove home. With the chain still attached to the machine. With their bumper still attached to the chain. With their vehicle's license plate still attached to the bumper.
(Virginia) A man walked into a local police station, dropped a bag of cocaine on the counter, informed the desk sergeant that it was substandard cut, and asked that the person who sold it to him be arrested immediately.
(Washington DC) A man walked up to a cashier at a grocery store and demanded all the money in the register. When the cashier handed him the loot, he fled - leaving his wallet on the counter.
(Virginia) A German "tourist," supposedly on a golf holiday, shows up at customs with his golf bag. While making idle more...