Cynic Jokes

Two mathematicians were having dinner in a restaurant, arguing about the
average mathematical knowledge of the American public. One mathematician
claimed that this average was woefully inadequate, the other maintained that it
was surprisingly high.
"I'll tell you what," said the cynic, "ask that waitress a simple math question. If she
gets it right, I'll pick up dinner. If not, you do." He then excused himself to visit
the men's room, and the other called the waitress over.
"When my friend comes back," he told her, "I'm going to ask you a question, and I
want you to respond `one third x cubed.' There's twenty bucks in it for you." She
agreed.
The cynic returned from the bathroom and called the waitress over. "The food was
wonderful, thank you," the mathematician started. "Incidentally, do you know
what the integral of x squared is?"
The waitress looked pensive; more...

Two mathematicians were having dinner in a restaurant, arguing about the
average mathematical knowledge of the American public. One mathematician
claimed that this average was woefully inadequate, the other maintained
that it was surprisingly high.
"I'll tell you what," said the cynic, "ask that waitress a simple math
question. If she gets it right, I'll pick up dinner. If not, you do."
He then excused himself to visit the men's room, and the other called
the waitress over.
"When my friend comes back," he told her, "I'm going to ask you a question,
and I want you to respond 'one third x cubed.' There's twenty bucks in
it for you." She agreed.
The cynic returned from the bathroom and called the waitress over. "The
food was wonderful, thank you," the mathematician started. "Incidentally,
do you know what the integral of x squared is?"
The waitress looked pensive; almost more...

The Cynic's Guide to Life
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a squeaking fan belt and a leaky tire.
I believe for every drop of rain that falls, a flower grows. And a foundation leaks and a ball game gets rained out and a car rusts and...
Follow your dream. Unless it's the one where you're at work in your underwear during a fire drill.
Always take time to stop and smell the roses... and sooner or later you'll inhale a bee.
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either, just leave me alone.
If you don't like my driving, don't call anyone. Just take another road. That's why the highway department made so many of them.
If a motorists cuts you off, just turn the other cheek. Nothings gets the message across like a good mooning.
When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.
It's always darkest before the dawn. more...