Dad Jokes / Recent Jokes

One Day Three Kids Were Praising About Their Fathers. One Of Them Said "My Dad Fell From A High Building. He Broke His Leg. The Doctor Replaced It With A Baseball Bat. So He Became A Champion In Playing Baseball."The Other One Said That My Dad Fell From A High Building. The Doctor Replaced It With A Cricket Bat. My Dad Became A Champion In Cricket." The Third One Said That My Dad Fell From A High Building. The Doctor Replaced It With The Cow's Stomach. My Dad Became A Champion In Giving Milk."

Boy: Dad, Dad, come out. My sister's fighting this ten foot gargoyle with three heads. Dad: No, I'm not coming out. She's going to have to learn to look after herself.

One day this man was gonna shoot his bee-bee gun, but first he had
to make a cake for his sons. Finally he was done, and the boys
came down to eat the cake. When they were done they went back
upstairs to play. Just before the father was about to go outside
the youngest son came down and said,"Dad, I'm pissing out bee-bees!"
The dad said,"That's alright." The son went back upstairs. The
middle son came down and again said I'm pisssing out bee-bees!
Again the dad replied, That's alright. Then the oldest son came
and the father said, "I know, I know, you're pissing out bee-bees."
No, I was playing with myself and shot the dog.

One Sunday morning Chelsea burst into the living quarters at the White
House and said, "Dad! Mom! I have some great news for you! I am
getting married to the greatest hunk in Washington. He lives in
Georgetown and his name is Matt."
After dinner, the President took Chelsea aside. "Honey, I have to
talk with you. Your mother and I have been married a long time. She's
a wonderful wife but she's never offered much excitement in the
bedroom, so I used to fool around with women a lot. Matt is actually
your half-brother, and I'm afraid you can't marry him." Chelsea was
heart-broken.
After eight months she eventually started dating again. A year later
she came home and very proudly announced, "Robert asked me to marry
him! We're getting married in June." Again her father insisted on
another private conversation and broke the sad news.
"Robert is your half-brother too, honey. I'm awfully more...

Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem and they give him $50."
The second boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song and they give him $100."

The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon. And, it takes eight people to collect all the money!"

Son: "Dad, I have to do a special report for school. Can I ask you a question?"

Father: "Sure son. What's the question?"

Son: "What is politics?"
Father: "Well, let's take our home for example. I am the wage earner, so let's call me "Capitalism". Your mother is the administrator of money, so we'll call her "Government". We take care of your needs, so we'll call you "The People". We'll call the maid "The Working Class", and your baby brothe we can call "The Future".
"Do you understand, Son?"
Son: "I'm not really sure, Dad. I'll have to think about it".
That night, awakened by his baby brother's crying, the boy went to see what was wrong. Discovering that the baby had seriously soiled his diaper, the boy went to his parent's room and found his mother sound asleep. He went to the maid's room, where, peeking through the keyhole, he saw his more...

Young son: "Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?" Dad: "That happens in every country, son."