Dave Jokes / Recent Jokes

Back in the old Wild West, there were two blond cowpokes, Jeff and Dave. One day, the two were enjoying a strong sarsaparilla in the local saloon, when a man walked into the bar with an Indian's head under his arm.
The barman shakes his hand and says, "I hate Indians; last week they burnt my barn to the ground, assaulted my wife and killed my children." He then says, "If any man brings me the head of an Indian, I'll give him one thousand dollars."
The two blonds looked at each other and walked out of the bar to go hunting for an Indian. They were walking around for a while when suddenly they saw one; Jeff threw a rock which hit the Indian right on the head.
The Indian fell off his horse, but landed seventy feet down a ravine. The two nuts made their way down the ravine where Dave pulled out a knife to claim their trophy.
Suddenly, Jeff said, "Dave, take a look at this."
Dave replied, "Not now, I'm busy."
Jeff tugged him more...

The wedding was over, and the reception was in full swing. Dave an usher, was having a great time with other members of the wedding party. His wife, Betty was not. "Dont be to mad at Dave," a friend told her. "He did a terrific job. Id be glad to have him usher at my wedding." "Yeah," Betty replied, "I wish he had been an usher at mine."

Tips on Love (by kids, 5-10 years of age):
WHAT IS THE PROPER AGE TO GET MARRIED? "Eighty-four, Because at that age, you don't have to work anymore, and you can spend all your time loving each other in your bedroom."(Judy, 8)
"Once I'm done with kindergarten, I'm going to find me a wife."(Tom, 5)
WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE? "On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date."(Mike, 10)
WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE? "You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her a big ring and her own VCR, 'cause she'll want to have videos of the wedding." (Jim, 10)
"Never kiss in front of other people. It's a big embarrassing thing if anybody sees you. But if nobody sees you, I might be willing to try it with a handsome boy, but just for a few hours."(Kally, 9)
THE GREAT DEBATE: IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED? "It's more...

Judy, the editor of a trivia publication, was having trouble with her computer. So she called Dave, the computer guy, over to her desk. Dave clicked a couple buttons and solved the problem. As he was walking away, Judy called after him, "So, what was wrong?"

And he replied, "It was an ID ten T error."

A puzzled expression ran over Judy's face. "An ID ten T error? What's that.. in case I need to fix it again??"

He gave her a grin, "Haven't you heard of an ID ten T error before."

"No," replied Judy.

"Write it down," he said, "and I think you'll figure it out."

She wrote: ID10T

Mum sends Dave off to the market to buy a few things and Mabel tags along as usual. After investing in a new bucket, a straw broom, a couple of live chickens and a poddy calf, Dave is struggling home, with the calf baulking and the chickens flapping and the bucket clanking - all in different directions.

As they pass through a bit of bush Mabel says, "Aw gee, Dave, I'm scared!"

Dave yanks the calf and recovers a chicken and says, "Yeah! What of, Mabel?"

"Aw gee, you might take advantage of me in this lonely bush!" says Mabel.

"Come off it, Mabel," says Dave, grabbing the bucket. "Look how busy I am with this lot!"

Quick as a flash, Mabel says, "But couldn't you put the chickens down on the ground with the bucket on top of them, and push the broom into the ground and tie the calf to it?"

Tips on Love (by kids, 5-10 years of age):WHAT IS THE PROPER AGE TO GET MARRIED? "Eighty-four, Because at that age, you don't have to work anymore, and you can spend all your time loving each other in your bedroom."(Judy, 8)"Once I'm done with kindergarten, I'm going to find me a wife."(Tom, 5)WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE? "On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date."(Mike, 10)WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE? "You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her a big ring and her own VCR, 'cause she'll want to have videos of the wedding." (Jim, 10)"Never kiss in front of other people. It's a big embarrassing thing if anybody sees you. But if nobody sees you, I might be willing to try it with a handsome boy, but just for a few hours."(Kally, 9)THE GREAT DEBATE: IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED? "It's better for girls to be single more...

YOUNG Dave was courting Mabel, who lived on an adjoining farm out west
in cattle country. One evening, as they were sitting on Dave's porch
watching the sun go down over the hills, Dave spied his prize bull
doing the business on one of his cows. He sighed in contentment at
this idyllic rural scene and figured the omens were right for him to
put the hard word on Mabel.
He leaned in close and whispered in her ear, "Mabel, I'd sure like to
be doing what that bull is doing."
"Well then, why don't you? "Mabel whispered back. "It is YOUR cow."