Dealer Jokes / Recent Jokes

Udurawana gets ready, wears tie, coat, goes out, climbs
tree, sits on the branch regularly. A man asks why he
does this. Udurawana:"I've been promoted as branch
manager."

Once Udurawana professor asked a plumber to come to his
college. U know Why? Because he wanted to check where the question paper is
leaking...

Udurawana: I hav'nt slept all nite in the train.
Friend: Y?
Udurawana: Got upper berth.
Friend: Y did'nt u Xchnged?
Udurawana: oye, there was nobody 2 Xchng in the lower
berth..

THE BEST
Teacher lecturing on population - In India after
Every 10 sec a woman gives birth to a kid.
A Udurawana stands up- we must find & stop her!.

Udurawana -why r all these people running?
Man- This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
Udurawana -If only the winner will get the cup, why r
others running?

Udurawana had twins; he named them Tin & more...

The little church in the suburbs suddenly stopped buying from its regular office supply dealer. So, the dealer telephoned Deacon Brown to ask why.

"I'll tell you why," shouted Deacon Brown. "Our church ordered some pencils from you to be used in the pews for visitors to register."

"Well, interrupted the dealer, "didn't you receive them yet?"

"Oh, we received them all right," replied Deacon Brown.

"However, you sent us some golf pencils... each stamped with the words, `Play Golf Next Sunday.'"

To Whom It May Concern:
After nine weeks and many phone calls, I am writing this letter to discuss a few items that the underwriter has not yet brought up (but probably will).
I am not now, nor have I ever been a member of the Communist Party. Neither my parents nor my grandparents were ever members of the Communist Party. I was born seven months after my parents were married. I hope this doesn't disqualify me for the mortgage, I will have my mother and father send a letter to you explaining how this happened if you feel it is necessary.
I am not a bed wetter or a homosexual.
I have no religious affiliation. If this is a problem, I will get a letter from a priest, minister, and rabbi stating they will let me join up if you feel it is necessary.
I want to apologize for having $36,000 in the bank account that I reported having $8,000. I guess if the underwriters find out that I have over $100,000 spread out in other banks and investments, I never will get the more...

Banta, a furniture dealer from Ludhiana, decided to Expand the line of furniture in his store, so he decided to go to Chennai to see what he could find.
After arriving in Chennai he met with some manufacturers and selected a line that he thought would sell well Back home in Ludhiana.
To celebrate the new acquisition, he decided to visit a small bar and have a beer. As he sat enjoying his beer, he noticed that the small place was quite crowded, and that the other chair at his table was the only vacant seat.
Before long, a very beautiful young woman came to his table, asked him something in Tamil (which he did not understand), and motioned toward the Chair. He invited her to sit down.
He tried to speak to her in Hindi, but she did not knew Hindi so, after a couple of minutes of trying to communicate with her, Banta took a napkin and drew a picture of a beer glass and showed it to her. She nodded, and he ordered a glass of beer for her.
After sitting together at the more...

a woman takes a used tampon to an antiques dealer and says"cmon then you smart fucker tell me what period this is from then!"