Debate Jokes / Recent Jokes
The chicken-and-egg debate resolved
Possibly the Very Best Chicken Joke Yet.....
A chicken and an egg are lying in bed.
The chicken is leaning against the headboard, a satisfied smile on its
face.
The egg, looking a bit irritated, grabs the sheet, rolls over, and says,
"Well, I guess we finally answered THAT question!"
During last night's debate Sarah Palin twice mistakenly referred to the top U.S. commander in Afghanistan as "Gen. McClellan." His name is David McKiernan. General McClellan was a union general during the civil war. Ironically, John McCain served with distinction under General McClellan.
"John McCain loved Palin's debate performance. Matter of fact, he applauded so much, all the lights in his home kept on going on and off."
David Letterman
WARNING - may be offensive to Los Angelenos, Tiny Tim, Dr. Jack Kevorkian, OJ Simpson and women who marry serial killers on death row (sounds like a topic for a talk show...). Includes American politics.
In last weeks debate, Bob Dole accused Bill Clinton of not sticking to his platform. Well, at least he didn't fall off it...
At the end of the debate, Dole closed by inviting young people to check out his Web site. This could be the most tragic attempt at looking hip since William Shatner recorded "Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds".
In the polls, both Dole and Clinton scored points as agents of change. Right. Each of them motivated millions of Americans to change the channel.
When the stock market hit a record high, Bill Clinton took full credit. When poverty fell to a new low, Clinton took full credit. When unmarried pregnancies declined, well... they dragged him off the stage just in time...
In a television ad featuring Elizabeth Dole, Mrs. Dole says her more...
Several centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all the Jews
had to leave Italy. There was, of course, a huge outcry from
the Jewish community, so the Pope offered a deal. He would
have a religious debate with a leader of the Jewish
community. If the Jewish leader won the debate, the Jews
would be permitted to stay in Italy. If the Pope won, the
Jews would have to leave.
The Jewish community met and picked an aged Rabbi, Moishe,
to represent them in the debate. Rabbi Moishe, however, could
not speak Latin and the Pope could not speak Yiddish. So it
was decided that this would be a "silent" debate.
On the day of the great debate, the Pope and Rabbi Moishe
sat opposite each other for a full minute before the Pope
raised his hand and showed three fingers.
Rabbi Moishe looked back and raised one finger.
Next, the Pope waved his finger around his head.
Rabbi Moishe pointed to the ground where he sat.
The Pope then more...
Governor Schwarzenegger says California should debate legalizing marijuana. Naturally Californians were way ahead of him and were already debating Dominos or Pizza Hut.