Debate Jokes / Recent Jokes
The Great Debate: Is It Better To Be Single Or Married? “It’s better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need somebody to clean up after them! ” -Lynette, age 9 “It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I’m just a kid. I don’t need that kind of trouble. ” -Kenny, age 7
During a political debate the politicians were asked to use the word "fascinate" in a sentence.
The first one, a democrat, came up with an answer right away. He said, "One of my hobbies is painting, and no matter if I paint with water colors, or oils I always fascinate people with my work."
The second politician, the republican, said "My grandfather was a magician, and when ever he performed a trick be it with cards, or hoops, or magic balls he would always fascinate us."
The third politician, an independent, said "I don't know if I can do that."
The MC of the debate said, "Go ahead take a couple of minutes then give it your best."
The third politician thought for a while then said, "I know this gal, one time she went to the store to buy a new blouse. The blouse had ten buttons on it, but when she went to button it her boobs were so big that she could only fasten eight."
Green's Law of Debate: Anything is possible if you don't know what you're talking about.
The thoroughly secular young attorney and the philosopher were engaged in fierce theological debate: "Heaven and hell, you will agree, may very well be separated by a wall," contended the lawyer. Should it happen that this wall would fall down, who would you say must rebuild it?"The righteous would insist that the wicked do it; the latter would likely refuse. If this case came before a judge, which do you believe would emerge the winner?""It seems to me," replied the philosopher, "that any fair-minded judge would render a verdict against the wicked, since the likelihood is that the wall should crumble from the fires of hell rather than from the bliss of Paradise."On the other hand," he concluded, "I fully realize that hell surely contains a full quota of glib-tongued lawyers, and I should therefore not be surprised if they won the case."
Two political candidates were having a hot debate:
Finally, one of them jumped up and yelled at the other, "What about the powerful interest that controls you?"
The other candidate defiantly yelled back, "You leave my wife out of this!"
Process-Oriented God If God was process oriented, the Book of Genesis might read something like this: In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. The earth was without form and void, so God created a small committee. He carefully balanced the committee vis-a-vis race, gender, ethnic origin, and economic status in order to interface pluralism with the holistic concept of self-determination according to adjudicatory guidelines. Even God was impressed, and so ended the first day. And God said, "Let the committee draw up a mission statement." And behold, the committee decided to prioritize and strategize and God called that process empowerment. And God thought it sounded pretty good. And evening and morning were the second day. And God said, "Let the committee determine goals and objectives and engage in long-term planning." Unfortunately, a debate about the semantic differences between goals and objectives pre-empted almost all of the third day. Although more...
Spokesman Shows Footage of President Tumbling from Bike
In what some political insiders were calling an attempt to lower expectations in the days leading up to the first presidential debate, the White House today announced that President Bush has an I.Q. of 67.
"The president is far, far less intelligent than is commonly thought," White House spokesman Scott McClellan told reporters. "Even the simplest tasks remain well beyond his reach."
Reinforcing the impression that the president will be overmatched in Thursday's debate with Sen. John Kerry, Mr. McClellan showed reporters never-before-seen footage of Mr. Bush oafishly tumbling from his mountain bike.
"What a moron," Mr. McClellan said.
The White House spokesman said that Mr. Bush cannot possibly be expected to do well in a debate with Sen. Kerry, who Mr. McClellan said "has an I.Q. of 193" and "is widely considered the best debater more...