Deck Jokes / Recent Jokes

Christmas Carols for the Psychiatrically Challenged
SCHIZOPHRENIA - Do You Hear What I Hear?
MULTIPLE PERSONALITY - We Three Queens Disoriented Are.
DEMENTIA - I Think I'll Be Home For Christmas.NARCISSISTIC - Hark The Herald
Angels Sing...About Me!
MANIA - Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and
Office and Town...OH!!! Deck the Halls and Spare No Expense!
PARANOIA - Santa Claus is Coming To Town...And He Is Out to Get Me!
PERSONALITY DISORDER - You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout,
then maybe I'll tell you why.
DEPRESSION - Silent anhedonia, Holy anhedonia. All is calm, All is pretty
lonely.
OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE - Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle
Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell
Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell,
Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle more...

Schizophrenia - Do You Hear What I Hear?
Multiple Personality - We Three Queens Disoriented Are
Dementia - I Think I'll Be Home For Christmas
Narcissistic - Hark the Herald Angels Sing (About Me)
Mania - Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and... or Deck the Halls and Spare No Expenses
Borderline Personality - Thoughts of Roasting in an Open Fire
Paranoia - Santa Claus is Coming To Get Me
Personality Disorder - You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry. I'm Gonna Pout, then MAYBE I'll Tell You Why
Depression - Silent Anhedonia, Holy Anhedonia. All is Calm, All is Pretty Lonely
Obsessive Compulsive - Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock...
Passive Aggressive - On the First Day of Christmas My Mother Gave to Me... (And Then Took it All Away)

After years of hard work, Angie took her first vacation on a luxury cruise ship. While sitting in a deck chair, she recognized a former high school classmate, a long-lost friend from her old hometown.
She crossed the deck and shook hands with her friend and said: "Hello, Angela. I haven't seen you in years. What are you doing these days?"
"I'm practicing law," whispered Angela. "But don't tell my mother. She still thinks I'm a prostitute."

Schizophrenia - Do You Hear What I Hear? Multiple Personality - We Three Queens Disoriented AreDementia - I Think I'll Be Home For ChristmasNarcissistic - Hark the Herald Angels Sing (About Me)Mania - Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and... or Deck the Halls and Spare No ExpensesBorderline Personality - Thoughts of Roasting in an Open FireParanoia - Santa Claus is Coming To Get MePersonality Disorder - You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry. I'm Gonna Pout, then MAYBE I'll Tell You WhyDepression - Silent Anhedonia, Holy Anhedonia. All is Calm, All is Pretty LonelyObsessive Compulsive - Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock...Passive Aggressive - On the First Day of Christmas My Mother Gave to Me... (And Then Took it All Away)

Schizophrenia -- Do You Hear What I Hear? Multiple Personality -- We Three Queens Disoriented AreDementia -- I Think I'll Be Home For ChristmasNarcissistic -- Hark the Herald Angels Sing (About Me)Mania -- Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and... or Deck the Halls and Spare No ExpensesBorderline Personality -- Thoughts of Roasting in an Open FireParanoia -- Santa Claus is Coming To Get MePersonality Disorder -- You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry. I'm Gonna Pout, then MAYBE I'll Tell You WhyDepression -- Silent Anhedonia, Holy Anhedonia. All is Calm, All is Pretty LonelyObsessive Compulsive -- Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock... Passive Aggressive -- On the First Day of Christmas My Mother Gave to Me... (And Then Took it All Away)

Patient: Doctor, I keep thinking that I'm a deck of cards!
Psychiatrist: Sit over there and I'll deal with you later!

Patient: Doctor, I keep thinking that I'm a deck of cards! Psychiatrist: Sit over there and I'll deal with you later!