Degrees Jokes / Recent Jokes
A new arrival in Hell was brought before the devil. The devil told his demon to put the man to work on a rock pile with a 20-pound sledge hammer in 95 degree heat with 95% humidity. At the end of the day, the devil went to see how the man was doing, only to find him smiling and singing as he pounded rocks. The man explained that the heat and hard labor were very similar to those on his beloved farm back in Georgia. The devil told his demon to turn up the heat to 120 degrees, with 100% humidity. At the end of the next day, the devil again checked on the new man, and found him still happy to be sweating and straining. The man explained that it felt like the old days, when he had to clean out his silo in the middle of August on his beloved farm back in Georgia. At that, the devil told his demon to lower the temperature for this man to -20 degrees with a 40 mph wind. At the end of the next day, the devil was confident that he would find the man miserable. But, the man was instead singing more...
A blonde is taking a test for a job. The examiner asks some questions for general culture.
"Do you know miss which is the boiling temperature of water?"
"I am not sure"
"Miss, either you know it or you don't know it"
"I am not sure"
"The boiling temperature of water is 100 degrees!"
"Mmmm. I see. It's the right angle that boils at 90 degrees!"
A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a man below. He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him half an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."
The man below replied, "You are in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You are between 40 and 42 degrees north latitude and between 58 and 60 degrees west longitude."
"You must be an engineer," said the balloonist.
"I am," replied the man, "but how did you know?"
"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost."
The man below responded, "You must be a manager."
"I am," replied the balloonist, "how did you know?"
"Well,&q
A man in a hot air balloon realised he was lost.
He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below.
He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me?
I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."
The woman below replied, "You are in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You are between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."
"You must be an engineer," said the balloonist.
"I am," replied the woman. "How did you know?"
"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help so far."
The woman below responded, "You must be in management."
"I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you more...
A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."
The woman below replied, "You are in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You are between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."
"You must be a teacher," said the balloonist.
"I am." replied the woman. "How did you know?"
"Well," answered the balloonist, "Everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help so far."
The woman below responded, "You must be an administrator."
"I am," replied the balloonist, "But how did you more...
A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted," Excuse me, can you help? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour
ago, but I don't know where I am."The woman below replied, "You are in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You are between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude.""You must be an engineer," said the balloonist."I am," replied the woman. "How did you know?" "Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of you, and the fact is I am still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help so far."The woman below responded, "You must be in management.""I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?""Well," said the woman, "you don't know more...
THINGS I HAVE LEARNED LIVING IN GEORGIA:
1. Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air
2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in GEORGIA.
3. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in GEORGIA plus a couple no one's seen before
4. If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.
5. Onced and twiced are words.
6. It is not a shopping cart; it is a buggy.
7. Fire ants consider your flesh as a picnic.
8. People actually grow and eat okra.
9. Fixinto is one word.
10. There is no such thing as "lunch". There is only dinner and then there is supper.
11. Ice tea is appropriate for all meals and you st art drinking it when you' re two. We do like a little tea with our sugar!
12. Backards and forwards means "I know everything about you."
13. DJeet? is actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat?"
14. You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it more...