Derby Jokes

A jogger running down a country road is startled as a horse yells at him "Hey-come over hear buddy". The jogger is stunned but runs over to the fence where the horse is standing and asks "Were you talking to me"? The horse replies "Sure was, man I've got a problem. I won the Kentucky Derby a few years ago and this farmer bought me and now all I do is pull a plow and I'm sick of it. Why don't you run up to the house and offer him $5,000 to buy me. I'll make you some money cause I can still run." The jogger thought to himself, "boy a talking horse"

Dollar signs started appearing in his head. So he runs to the house and the old farmer is sitting on the porch. The jogger tells the farmer "Hey man I'll give you $5,000 for that old broken down nag you've got in the field". The farmer replies "Son you can't believe anything that horse says-He's never even been to Kentucky.

What is an Eponyms you may wonder? Eponyms are words we use in everyday life that are based on peoples names, like:

Bobbies - Sir Robert(Bobby) Peel, a British politician in 1850 organized a police force in England called bobbies.

Braille - Named for Louis Braille of France who invented it to teach his blind students.

cardigan - No joke! This type of sweater was first worn by none other than the Earl of Cardigan in Great Britain.

Derby - a stiff felt hat favored today by rappers is credited to Edward Stanley, twelfth Earl of Derby.

guillotine - Marie Antionettes favorite little toy came to be in 1789 by Dr. Joseph Guillotin of France.

leotards - In the 1800's a french gymnast, Julius Leotard, designed these little beauties.

Signs Your Car Might Be A Lemon

Motor Trend never mentioned a "Chevrolet Caca."

Manufactured in Zchkynk, Crzyktjkystan.

Passenger-side "airbag" is actually Rush Limbaugh crammed inside your glove box.

Two Words: Pontiac Sunkist

Changing the pre-set radio stations voids the warranty.

Oil spills on your driveway prompt a visit from Greenpeace.

Car has spent more time on "60 Minutes" than on the road.

Disqualified from Soapbox Derby for lack of structural integrity.

Turn on the wipers and two guys climb out of the trunk with squeegees.

Disqualified from Soapbox Derby for lack of structural integrity.

Bicycle pump required to inflate airbags.

"Jaws of Life" in trunk.

The hood ornament? An ostrich with its head in the sand.

When you sit behind the wheel, a nerdy billionaire voice asks, "Where more...

Motor Trend never mentioned a "Chevrolet Caca." Manufactured in Zchkynk, Crzyktjkystan. Passenger-side "airbag" is actually Rush Limbaugh crammed inside your glove box. Two Words: Pontiac Sunkist Changing the pre-set radio stations voids the warranty. Oil spills on your driveway prompt a visit from Greenpeace. Car has spent more time on "60 Minutes" than on the road. Disqualified from Soapbox Derby for lack of structural integrity. Turn on the wipers and two guys climb out of the trunk with squeegees. Disqualified from Soapbox Derby for lack of structural integrity. Bicycle pump required to inflate airbags. "Jaws of Life" in trunk. The hood ornament? An ostrich with its head in the sand. When you sit behind the wheel, a nerdy billionaire voice asks, "Where do you want to go today?" You realize too late that it *is* your father's Oldsmobile. Ralph Nader's home phone number written on dashboard. The telltale green-and-yellow-make-blue more...

Motor Trend never mentioned a "Chevrolet Caca."

Manufactured in Zchkynk, Crzyktjkystan.

Passenger-side "airbag" is actually Rush Limbaugh crammed inside your glove box.

Two Words: Pontiac Sunkist

Changing the pre-set radio stations voids the warranty.

Oil spills on your driveway prompt a visit from Greenpeace.

Car has spent more time on "60 Minutes" than on the road.

Disqualified from Soapbox Derby for lack of structural integrity.

Turn on the wipers and two guys climb out of the trunk with squeegees.

Disqualified from Soapbox Derby for lack of structural integrity.

Bicycle pump required to inflate airbags.

"Jaws of Life" in trunk.

The hood ornament? An ostrich with its head in the sand.

When you sit behind the wheel, a nerdy billionaire voice asks, "Where do you want to go more...