Description Jokes / Recent Jokes

A defense attorney was cross-examining a police officer during a felony trial -it went like this:
Q: Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene?
A: No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender running several blocks away.
Q: Officer, who provided this description?
A: The officer who responded to the scene.
Q: A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?
A: Yes sir, with my life.
Q: WITH YOUR LIFE? Let me ask you this then officer-do you have a locker room in the police station-a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?
A: Yes sir, we do.
Q: And do you have a locker in that room?
A: Yes sir, I do.
Q: And do you have a lock on your locker?
A: Yes sir.
Q: Now why is it, officer, IF YOU TRUST YOUR FELLOW OFFICERS WITH YOUR LIFE, that you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with more...

D E S M O I N E S, Iowa? Harpal Singh may have thought he'd seen the last of the man who just robbed him, but the suspect apparently had to get in the last word, police say.

When Singh, a clerk at a Citgo gas station, called police to report the heist, the suspect returned to the store and corrected his description.

Just as Singh told authorities the suspect was "5-something" in height, the suspect, Steven Hebron, told Singh, he was actually 6-foot-2, police said.

He also corrected the clerk when he said the robber was about 38 years old, according to the Des Moines Register "I'm 34," Hebron clarified.

The first time he left the Citgo Quik Mart last Wednesday evening, Hebron tried to run out with several cartons of cigarettes, police allege.

The bag ripped as he headed for the door, however, and Hebron's wallet fell on the floor, a cashier told authorities.

When the cashier yelled for help, Singh more...

A defense attorney was cross-examining a police officer during a felony trial -it went like this:Q: Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene? A: No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender running several blocks away.Q: Officer, who provided this description? A: The officer who responded to the scene.Q: A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers? A: Yes sir, with my life.Q: WITH YOUR LIFE? Let me ask you this then officer-do you have a locker room in the police station-a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties? A: Yes sir, we do.Q: And do you have a locker in that room? A: Yes sir, I do.Q: And do you have a lock on your locker? A: Yes sir.Q: Now why is it, officer, IF YOU TRUST YOUR FELLOW OFFICERS WITH YOUR LIFE, that you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with those officers? A: You see sir, we share the building with a more...

A defense attorney was cross-examining a police officer during a felony trial...
Q. Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene?
A. No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender running several blocks away.
Q. Officer, who provided this description?
A. The officer who responded to the scene.
Q. A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?
A. Yes sir, with my life.
Q. WITH YOUR LIFE? Let me ask you this then officer, do you have a locker room in the police station... a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?
A. Yes sir, we do.
Q. And do you have a locker in that room?
A. Yes sir, I do.
Q. And do you have a lock on your locker?
A. Yes sir.
Q. Now why is it, officer, IF YOU TRUST YOUR FELLOW OFFICERS WITH YOUR LIFE, that you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with those more...

You Know You're Addicted to Ebay When...
1.) Every time you go to the grocery store, you offer the cashier one cent more for each item in the cart of the person in front of you.
2.) To cut costs, FedEx and UPS are considering relocating their operations centers to your house.
3.) Sitting on the floor of your empty apartment, you stare at your fingers and wonder whether they'll sell better, individually or as a matched set.
4.) Your spouse is loving and caring, but you decided to file for divorce because you need the storage space.
5.) You're the reason they adopted the "No selling your children's vital organs" policy.
6.) You find yourself searching eBay auctions for milk, eggs and bread.
7.) When your wife agrees to have sex with you, you become suspicious, and ask how many other bidders there were.
8.) Just ask your kids if you're addicted, eRay and eFaye.
9.) After a particularly passionate night, you lean over and whisper in your more...

A defense attorney was cross-examining a police officer during a felony trial - it went like this:
Q. Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene?
A. No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender running several blocks away.
Q. Officer, who provided this description?
A. The officer who responded to the scene.
Q. A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?
A. Yes sir, with my life.
Q. WITH YOUR LIFE? Let me ask you this then officer - do you have a locker room in the police station a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?
A. Yes sir, we do.
Q. And do you have a locker in that room?
A. Yes sir, I do.
Q. And do you have a lock on your locker?
A. Yes sir.
Q. Now why is it, officer, IF YOU TRUST YOUR FELLOW OFFICERS WITH YOUR LIFE, that you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share more...

A defense attorney was cross-examining a police officer during a felony trial - it went like this:Q: Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene? A: No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender running several blocks away.Q: Officer, who provided this description? A: The officer who responded to the scene.Q: A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers? A: Yes sir, with my life.Q: With your life? Let me ask you this then officer, do you have a locker room in the police station, a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties? A: Yes sir, we do.Q: And do you have a locker in that room? A: Yes sir, I do.Q: And do you have a lock on your locker? A: Yes sir.Q: Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, that you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with those officers? A: You see sir, we share the building more...