Device Jokes / Recent Jokes

486 - The average IQ needed to understand a PC.
State-of-the-art - Any computer you can't afford.
Obsolete - Any computer you own.
Microsecond - The time it takes for your state-of-the-art computer to become obsolete.
G3 - Apple's new Macs that make you say "Gee, three times faster than the computer I bought for the same price a Microsecond ago."
Syntax Error - Walking into a computer store and saying, "Hi, I want to buy a computer and money is no object."
Hard Drive - The sales technique employed by computer salesmen, esp. after a Syntax Error.
GUI - What your computer becomes after spilling your coffee on it. (pronounced "gooey")
Keyboard - The standard way to generate computer errors.
Mouse - An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to generate.
Floppy - The state of your wallet after purchasing a computer.
Portable Computer - A device invented to force businessmen to work at home, on vacation, more...

For years I badgered my mother with questions about whether Santa Claus is a
real person or not. Her answer was always, "Well, you asked for the
presents, and they came, didn't they?" I finally understood the full meaning
of her reply when I heard the definition of a virtual device: "A software or
hardware entity which responds to commands in a manner indistinguishable
from the real device."
Mother was telling me that Santa Claus is a virtual person (simulated by
loving parents) who responds to requests from children in a manner
indistinguishable from the real saint.
Mother also taught the IF...THEN...ELSE structure, "If it's snowing, then
put your boots on before you go to school; otherwise just wear your shoes."
Mother explained the difference between batch and transaction processing,
"We'll wash the white clothes when we get enough of them to make a load, but
we'll wash these socks out right now more...

I'm amazed more people haven't spotted these film flubs:

* Part of the movie is in black and white, then inadvertently goes to color, and then back to black and white! An obvious continuity gaffe.

* Although the movie purports to be in Kansas, several scenes are obviously filmed on a Hollywood sound stage.

* The scene where the teacher rides past Dorothy's bedroom window in the midst of a tornado is physically impossible.

* When the characters sing you can hear music accompanying them but there are no radios or musicians in the area!

* For a land to exist "over the rainbow" it would have to be lighter than air, and as Dorothy was already shown to be composed of solid matter, how come she didn't fall back down to earth?

* Some of the so-called "munchkins" are obviously children wearing fake facial hair and grown up clothes.

* The "yellow brick road" is not really yellow as much as more...