Dice Jokes

It's 8:00 AM at a gambling casino. There are two guys waiting at the dice table for additional competition. A very attractive lady comes in and wants to bet twenty-thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice. The other two agree.

She says, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm not wearing underwear." With that she strips naked from the waste down. She then rolls the dice while yelling, "Momma needs a new pair of pants! YES! I WIN!"

With that she picks up her money and clothes and quickly leaves. The other two just stare at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asks, "What did she roll anyway?"

The other answers, "I don't know. I thought you were watching the dice!"

A candidate brought dice into the examination hall for MCQ. He started tossing the dice to select his answers. The superintendent just gave a glimpse at this candidate, as he passed by, as it is common to have students trying their luck. Very soon the candidate finished his whole paper and slept on his table. Half an hour later, the candidate sat up, and started tossing the dice again The superintendent felt curious, and approached the candidate.
Superintendent: "Gentleman, why are you tossing the dice again, since you've already finished all the questions earlier on?"
Candidate: "Sir, I have to double check my answers"

Two bored casino dealers are waiting at a craps table.
A very attractive redhead comes in and wants to bet twenty-thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice.
She says, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm bottomless."
With that she strips naked from the waist down, and rolls the dice while yelling, "Momma needs a new pair of pants!"
She then begins jumping up and down and hugging each of the dealers. "YES!
I WIN! I WIN!"
With that she picks up her money and clothes and quickly leaves. The dealers just stare at each other dumbfounded.
Finally one of them asks, "What did she roll anyway?"
The other answers, "I thought YOU were watching!"

Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the crap table. A very attractive Blonde woman from Alabama arrived and bet twenty-thousand dollars ($20, 000) on a single roll of the dice. She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I play Topless." With that, she stripped to the waist: rolled the dice: and yelled, "Come on, Baby, Southern Girl needs new clothes!" As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up-and-down, and squealed..."YES! YES! I WON! I WON!" She hugged each of the dealers. Then she picked up her winnings and her clothes, and quickly departed. The dealers stared at each other dumfounded. Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?" The other ans wered, "I don't know. I thought you were watching." Moral --- Not all Southerners are stupid. Not all blondes are dumb. But, all men..... are men.

It's 8 a.m. at a gambling casino. Two bored dealers are waiting around for someone to walk up and try their luck at the crap table. A very attractive lady comes in and wants to bet twenty thousand dollars on the roll of the dice. The dealers agree.

She says, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I am bottomless."

They both nod yes, and With that she strips naked from the waist down and rolls the dice while yelling, "Momma needs a new pair of panties!" She then begins jumping up and down and hugging each of the dealers. "YES! I WIN! I WIN!"

She picks up her money and clothes and quickly leaves. The dealers just stare at each other dumbfounded.

Finally one of them asks, "What did she roll?"

The other answers, "I don't know. I thought YOU were watching the dice!"