Dice Jokes / Recent Jokes
It's 8:00 AM at a gambling casino. There are two guys waiting at the dice table for additional competition. A very attractive lady comes in and wants to bet twenty-thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice. The other two agree.
She says, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm not wearing underwear." With that she strips naked from the waste down. She then rolls the dice while yelling, "Momma needs a new pair of pants! YES! I WIN!"
With that she picks up her money and clothes and quickly leaves. The other two just stare at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asks, "What did she roll anyway?"
The other answers, "I don't know. I thought you were watching the dice!"
A candidate brought dice into the examination hall for MCQ. He started tossing the dice to select his answers. The superintendent just gave a glimpse at this candidate, as he passed by, as it is common to have students trying their luck. Very soon the candidate finished his whole paper and slept on his table. Half an hour later, the candidate sat up, and started tossing the dice again The superintendent felt curious, and approached the candidate.
Superintendent: "Gentleman, why are you tossing the dice again, since you've already finished all the questions earlier on?"
Candidate: "Sir, I have to double check my answers"
Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the craps table. A very attractive blonde lady comes in and wants to bet $10, 000 on a single roll of the dice. And she adds, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I m completely nude."
With that she takes off everything but her necklace and rolls the dice while yelling, "Mama needs new clothes." Then she yells, "YES, YES, YES!! I WON, I WON, I WON."
She begins jumping up and down and hugging both of the dealers. Then she picks up her money and her clothes and quickly leaves. The dealers just stare at each other dumbfounded. Finally one of them asks, "What did she roll, anyway?"
The other answers, "I don't know. I thought YOU were watching."
Moral: Not all blondes are dumb.
It's 8: 00 AM at a gambling casino. There are two guys waiting at the dice table for additional competition. A very attractive lady comes in and wants to bet twenty-thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice. The other two agree. She says, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm not wearing underwear." With that she strips naked from the waste down. She then rolls the dice while yelling, "Momma needs a new pair of pants! YES! I WIN!" With that she picks up her money and clothes and quickly leaves. The other two just stare at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asks, "What did she roll anyway?" The other answers, "I don't know. I thought you were watching the dice!"
1.+-------+
| sand | = sand box
+-------+
2. man
--------- = man overboard
board
3. stand
---------- = I understand
i
4. /r/e/a/d/i/n/g/ = reading between the lines
5. r
road = cross road
a
d
7. cycle
cycle = tricycle
cycle
8. t
o = downtown
w
n
9. le /
/ vel = split level
/
10. 0
------- = two degrees below zero
M. D.
Ph. D.
11. knee
-------- = neon light
light
12. ii ii
------------- = circles under the eyes
O O
13. dice dice = paradise
14. t
o
u = touchdown
c
h
15. ground
-----------
feet
feet = six feet underground
feet
feet
feet
feet
16. mind
--------- = mind over matter
matter
17. he's / himself = he's beside himself
18. ecnalg = backward glance
19. death / life = life after death