Die Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man suddenly started feeling horrible and was sent to the hospital.

The next day, the doctor had a talk with the man's wife.

He said, "Your husband has been suffering from serious stress. If immediate action is not taken, he could die in a very short time."

The woman said, "What type of immediate action?"

The doctor said, "You must provide a stress-free environment in your home. For the next two weeks, make wonderful meals for him every day. Also, you must be sure that you don't nag him or stress him in any way."

On the drive home from the hospital, her husband asked, "So what's wrong with me, honey?"

The woman paused for a moment and then replied, "Sorry, honey, but you're going to die."

Satharji is a man who works in a construction company.
Once when they were constructing a building, at lunch time when they all sat together to have their lunch in the fifth floor.

one man siad that he likes bread & if his wife havent given bread he would jump & suicide, when he opened the lunch bx it was not bread he jumped from the building.

then another said that he likes parata & if it is not there he would die, it was not there & he jumped. another said he likes rice & if it is not there he would die, & it wasnt there he jumped.

then Satharji said that he likes pizzas & if it is not there he would die, when he opened the lunch box some sandwitches were there then he jumped from the building.

that evening everybodys wives came & were crying but Satharjis wife didnt cry. then everybody asked her " Why arent you crying?"
"Why should I cry for this stupid man? today i didnt make lunch for him..... he made it by more...

Here, you'll find jokes and humor about the elderly.


Jokes About the ElderlyOLD ELECTRICIANS never die, they just do it until it Hz
OLD ELECTRICIANS never die, they just lose contact
OLD ENERGIZER BUNNIES never die, they go on, and on, and on...
OLD ENGINEERS never die, they just lose their bearings
OLD ENGLISH MAJORS do it with Strunk and White
OLD ENVIRONMENTALISTS never die, they are just recycled
OLD ESKIMOES never die, they just get cold feet
OLD ESKIMOES never die, they just go cold
OLD EXORCISTS never die, they just give up the ghost
OLD FARMERS never die, they just go to seed
OLD FARMERS never die, they just spade away
OLD FATHERS never die, they just become grandfathers
OLD FISHERMEN never die, their rods just go limp
OLD FISHERMEN never die, they just get reel tired
OLD FISHERMEN never die, they just smell that way

[To the tune of "American Pie"]

A long, long, time ago
I can still remember when I dialed up their help desk lines.
And I knew if I had the chance
They could make my modem dance
with chats and GIFs and silly pick-up lines.

But Help Desk phone calls made me shiver
with every busy they`d deliver.
Bad news on the front page
A 19-hour outrage.

I can`t remember if I cried
when I realized that Steve Case had lied.
But something touched me deep inside
The day the service died.

So bye bye to Amer`ca Online
Drove my modem to a domain and it`s working just fine.
And good old geeks are cheering users offline
Saying this`ll be the day that they die.
This`ll be the day that they die.

Did you write the book of TOS
Will you send your password to PWD-BOSS
If an IM tells you so.
And will you believe the Motley Fool
When he tells you that the service more...

Udurawana bought a new mobile.
He sent a message to everyone from his Phone Book & said "My MobileNo. Has changed.
Earlier it was Nokia 3310 Now it is 6610"
Udurawana: I am a Proud, coz my son is in Medical College.
Friend: Really, what is he studying.
Udurawana: No he is not studying, they r Studying him.
Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Udurawana: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr.. ...
Interviewer shouts: Stop it.
Udurawana: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup...
Udurawana: Doctor, In my dreams, I play football every night.
DR: Take this tablet, you will be ok.
Udurawana: Can I take tomorrow, tonight is final game.
Udurawana: If I die will u remarry?
Wife: No! I'll stay with my sister. But if I die will u remarry?
Udurawana: No, I'll also stay with your sister
Udurawana: People consider me as a "GOD"
Wife: How do you know??
Udurawana: When I went to the Park today, everybody said,
Oh more...

A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, "Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?"

The first man approached him and said, "Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?"

The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied, "My wife's first husband."

Here, you'll find jokes and humor about the elderly.


Old Age HumorOLD CREDIT CARDS never die, they just expire
OLD CRICKETERS never die, they just get bowled over
OLD CRICKETERS never die, they just get smashed for six
OLD DANCERS never die, they just step away
OLD DAREDEVILS never die, they just get discouraged
OLD DEANS never die, they just lose their faculties
OLD DENTISTS never die, they just lose their pull
OLD DIETERS never die, they just waist away
OLD DIVERS never die, they just extend their bottom time
OLD DIVERS never die, they just flop
OLD DIVERS never die, they just get board
OLD DIVERS never die, they just lose their spring
OLD DOCTORS never die, they just lose their patience
OLD EDITORS do it with a red pen
OLD ELECTRICAL ENGINEERS never die, they just have slower rise times