Died Jokes / Recent Jokes

A young boy, about eight years old, was at the grocery store picking out a pretty good size box of laundry detergent. The grocer walked over, and, trying to be friendly, asked the boy if he had a lot of laundry to do.
"Oh, no laundry," the boy said, "I'm going to wash my dog."
"But you shouldn't use this to wash your dog. It's very powerful and if you wash your dog in this, he'll get sick. In fact, it might even kill him."
But the boy was not to be stopped and carried the detergent to the counter and paid for it, even as the grocer still tried to talk him out of washing his dog.
About a week later the boy was back in the store to buy some candy.
The grocer asked the boy how his dog was doing. "Oh, he died," the boy said.
The grocer, trying not to be an "I-told-you-so", said he was sorry the dog died but added, "I tried to tell you not to use that detergent on your dog."
"Well, the boy replied, more...

Did you hear about the guy who died of Viagra overdose? They couldn't close his casket.

Two Irishmen are sitting in a bar. Mick's looking particularly sad and Patrick asks him what the matter is. mick says, "well, I knew that my grandfather had died in the war, but I've just found out that he actually died in the auschwitz concentration camp." Patrick says, "that's terrible, did he go to the gas chamber?" and Mick replies, "no, he fell out of the machine gun tower."

One fall day, Dave was out raking leaves when he noticed a hearsegoing down the street, followed by another hearse, followed by aman walking solemnly along, followed by a dog, and then about 200men walking in single file.Intrigued, Dave went up to the man following the second hearse andasked who was in the first one. "My wife," the man replied."I'm sorry," said Dave. "What happened to her?""My dog bit her and she died."Dave was taken aback. "And who's in the second hearse?""My mother-in-law. My dog bit her too and she died as well."Dave asked, "Can I borrow your dog?""Get in line."

A young boy, about seven years old, was at the corner grocery picking out a box of laundry detergent. The grocer walked over and trying to be friendly, asked the boy if he had a lot of laundry to do.
"No laundry" the boy said, "I'm going to wash my dog."
"But you shouldn't use this to wash your dog. It's very powerful and if you wash your dog in this, he'll get sick. In fact, it might even kill him."
But the boy was not to be stopped and carried the detergent to the counter and paid for it, even as the grocer still tried to talk him out of washing his dog.
About a week later the boy was back in the store to buy some candy. The grocer asked the boy how his dog was doing.
"Oh, he died," the boy said.
The grocer, trying not to be an I-told-you-so, said he was sorry the dog died but added, "I tried to tell you not to use that detergent on your dog."
The boy replied, "I don't think it was the detergent that more...

Soon after the Texas Aggie clocked in for work, the foreman called him over and told him that he had a phone call in the front office. When the Aggie returned, he had a mournful expression on his face and his head hung low. His foreman noticed and asked if he had received bad news." Shure was, Boss" he replied, "I just found out that my mother died earlier this morning." Gosh, that's awful," replied the foreman "Do you want the rest of the day off?" "No," replied the Aggie. "I'll finish the day out." About an hour later, the foreman returned to inform him that there was another phone call for him up front. This time when the Aggie returned he looked twice as glum and the foreman asked if everything was alright." Jezz, Boss this has to be the worst day of my life," Moaned the Aggie." That was my brother, and his mother died today too!"

One fine autumn day, Same was out raking leaves when he noticed a hearse slowly drive by. Following the first hearse was a second hearse, which was followed by a man walking solemnly along, follwed by a dog, and then about two hundred men walking in single file.
Intrigued, Same went up to the man following the second hearse and asked him who was in the first hearse.
"My wife," the man replied.
"I'm sorry," said Same. "What happened to her?"
"My dog bit her and she died."
Same then asked the man who was in the second hearse.
The man replied, "my mother-in-law. My dog bit her and she died as well."
Same thought about this for a while. He finally asked the man, "Can I borrow your dog?"
The man sighed. "Get in line"