Directive Jokes / Recent Jokes

CORPORATE DIRECTIVE NUMBER 88-570471In order to increase the security of all company computing facilities, and to avoid the possibility of unauthorized use of these facilities, new rules are being put into effect concerning the selection of passwords. All users of computing facilities are instructed to change their passwords to conform to these rules immediately. RULES FOR THE SELECTION OF PASSWORDS: 1. A password must be at least six characters long, and must not contain two occurrences of a character in a row, or a sequence of two or more characters from the alphabet in forward or reverse order. Example: HGQQXP is an invalid password. GFEDCB is an invalid password. 2. A password may not contain two or more letters in the same position as any previous password. Example: If a previous password was GKPWTZ, then NRPWHS would be invalid because PW occurs in the same position in both passwords. 3. A password may not contain the name of a month or an abbreviation for a month. Example: more...

10. "No, please, Data, go on. I find your list of synonyms for 'extinct' facinating..."
9. "Good work, Counsellor. If you hadn't told us those aliens had hostile intent, we would have been completely fooled by their plan."
8. "Jean-Luc, since the ship is in no danger at all and we're not about to die, I want to tell you..."
7. "The...doohickey...has gone all...funny, making that gizmo light up...the one that means the warp engines are...ya know...all messed up."
6. "Captain's Log, Stardate...damn. What's the date? Number One, what's today? No, I know it's Tuesday, what's the date? The STARdate!"
5. "Tea, Lemon Zinger, iced."
4. "Klingons do NOT wear frilly underwear...at least not on duty."
3. "Prime Directive? We don't need no steenkin' Prime Directive!"
2. "The aliens are locking their weapons on us...firing...a miss. Shall I open hailing frequencies so you can laugh more...