Director Jokes / Recent Jokes
A low cost budget film crew was shooting on an Indian Reservoir beach about natural psychic abilities of ancient American Indians.
Suddenly an Indian shows up, walks to the Director and says, “Tomorrow wind Storm, No shooting please. “ Sure enough a storm came and Director saved lots of money.
A few days later, again shooting preparedness was made and the Indian shows up. “Tomorrow hurricane, no shooting please. ” Sure enough a hurricane came and Director saved the money.
The amazing accurate predictive ability of the Indian on snow, rain, ice, blizzard, lightning, thunderstorm, was financially benefiting the Director that he got fond of him.
Now he was reaching towards the climax of the important shooting and waiting for the Indian to come and predict the weather.
The Indian was no where to be found. So he personally went looking for him and found him in a stinking smoking chimney hut.
He went inside, bowed to him in a manners of their ancient more...
A film crew was on location deep in the desert. One day an old Indian went up to the director and said, "Tomorrow rain." The next day it rained. A week later, the Indian went up to the director and said, "Tomorrow storm." The next day there was a hailstorm.
"This Indian is incredible," said the director. He told his secretary to hire the Indian to predict the weather. However, after several successful predictions, the old Indian didn't show up for two weeks.
Finally the director sent for him. "I have to shoot a big scene tomorrow," said the director, "and I'm depending on you. What will the weather be like?"
The Indian shrugged his shoulders. "Don't know," he said. "Radio is broken."
The newly appointed health minister of a northern state, whose knowledge of English was somewhat elementary, was on his first official visit to the largest hospital in the capital. The director of medical services took the minister around the operating theatres and general wards till they came to the women patients' section.
'This, sir, is the labour ward,' explained the director.
The minister stopped in his tracks and remarked firmly:' I will not visit this ward. Don't you know we have a labour minister in the government? I must not trespass into his domain.
A police dog responds to an ad for work with the FBI. “Well, ” says the personnel director, “You’ll have to meet some strict requirements. First, you must type at least 60 words per minute. ”
Sitting down at the typewriter, the dog types out 80 words per minute.
“Also, ” says the director, “You must pass a physical and complete the obstacle course. ”
This perfect canine specimen finishes the course in record time.
“There’s one last requirement, ” the director continues; “you must be bilingual. ”
With confidence, the dog looks up at him and says, “Meow! ”
Gerard Damiano, the director of "Deep Throat", has died at the age of 80. And thanks to karma, the Grim Reaper didn't warn him at all before coming.
Special High Intensity Training - S. H. I. T. MEMORANDUMTO: All EmployeesFROM: Communications ServicesSUBJECT: SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAININGIn order to assure that we continue to produce the highest quality work possible, it will be our policy to keep all employees well-trained though our Special High Intensity Training (S. H. I. T.). We are giving our employees more S. H. I. T. than any other office in town. If you feel you do not receive your share of S. H. I. T. on the job, please see your supervisor. You will be placed at the top of the S. H. I. T. list for special attention. All of our supervisors are particularly qualified to see that you get all the S. H. I. T. you can handle at your own speed. If you think that you have a thorough understanding of the basic S. H. I. T. program, you may wish to participate in Management Of Related Education (M. O. R. E. S. H. I. T.). If you consider yourself to be trained enough already, you may be interested in helping us train others. We more...
Several weeks after a young man had been hired, he was called into the personnel director's office. "What is the meaning of this?" the director asked. "When you applied for this job, you told us you had five years experience. Now we discovered this is the first job you've ever held." "Well," the young man replied, "in your advertisement you said you wanted somebody with imagination."