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Since you've discovered the Internet, you don't pay any attention to me! Who said that?

Since youve discovered the Internet, you dont pay any attention to me! Who said that?

A group of very attractive young female city employees discovered they could nicely supplement their income by moonlighting as call girls. One of the girls discovered she was more successful as a blonde after having her hair bleached. She convinced the others that the old saying, "Blondes have more fun," is true. The ladies became so popular that they were able to charge exorbitant rates.
They even charged their taxi fares to the Johns they served. When hard times hit and the market got soft, they needed a bigger come-on. Some of them understood the economic law of supply and demand, so decided to lower their rates. They decided not to include taxi fares in the fees they charged their customers.
They have become known as: The taxi-free municipal blondes.

Between the ages of 18 - 21 a woman is like Africa or Australia. She is half discovered, half wild and naturally beautiful with bushland around the fertile deltas.
Between the ages of 21 - 30 a woman is like America or Japan. Completely discovered, very well developed and open to trade especially with countries with cash or cars.
Between the ages of 30 - 35, she is like India or Spain. Very hot, relaxed and convinced of its own beauty.
Between the ages of 35 - 40 a woman is like France or Argentina. She may have been half destroyed during the war but can still be a warm and desirable place to visit.
Between the ages of 40 - 50 she is like Yugoslavia or Iraq. She lost the war and is haunted by past mistakes. Massive reconstruction is now necessary.
Between the ages of 50 - 60 she is like Russia or Canada. Very wide, quiet and the borders are practically unpatrolled but the frigid climate keeps people away.
Between the ages of 60 - 70 a woman is like more...

Dateline, September 3, 2147

Minneapolis -- In a rare view of 20th century life, Cyber Archaeologist Ole Anderson of Minneapolis has discovered an extremely rare throwback to the 20th century: an ancient IP version 4 packet containing HTTP --the primitive method that early Internet builders used to transfer data in what predated our now familiar way of communications.

Anderson is convinced of the packet's authenticity since IP version 4 packets have not been seen on the global network in 115 years.

"When I discovered the packet", says Anderson, "I couldn't believe my eyes. It contained an IP version 4 header which at first I couldn't decipher. Amazingly, the the contents of the packet are in plain text which means that I didn't even have to break the primitive crypto algorithms they had in those days. The packet seems to be directed at what was termed a `web site' and an individual called

This is deadly serious, so don't ignore it. Several new viruses have been discovered and are wreaking havoc throughout the national system. Beware of... THE CLINTON Virus....(Gives you a 6 Inch Hard Drive with NO memory)THE BOB DOLE (aka: VIAGRA) virus...(Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy)THE LEWINSKY virus...(Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then Emails everyone about what it did)THE RONALD REAGAN virus....(Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored)THE MIKE TYSON virus....(Quits after two bytes)THE OPRAH WINFREY virus....(Your 300mb hard drive shrinks to 100mb, then slowly expands to stabilize around 200mb)THE JACK KAVORKIAN virus....(Deletes all old files)THE ELLEN DEGENERES virus...(Disks can no longer be inserted)THE PROZAC virus....(Totally screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn't care)THE JOEY BUTTAFUOCO virus...(Only attacks minor files)THE ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER virus(Terminates some files, leaves, but will be back)... and last but not least... more...

The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by
investigators at a major U. S. research university. The element, tentatively
named administratium, has no protons or electrons and thus has an atomic
number of 0. However, it does have one neutron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75
vice neutrons and 111 assistant vice neutrons, which gives it an atomic mass
of 312. These 312 particles are held together by a force that involves the
continuous exchange of meson-like particles called morons.
Since it has no electrons, administratium is inert. However, it can be
detected chemically as it impedes every reaction it comes in contact with.
According to the discoverers, a minute amount of administratium causes one
reaction to take over four days to complete when it would have normally
occurred in less than a second.
Administratium has a normal half-life of approximately three years, at which
time it does not decay, but more...