Invent Jokes

Why'd God invent Whisky?
So the Irish would never rule the world.

Edwin Land is famous for inventing the Land Camera, also known as the Polaroid - the first instant camera. But he could invent just about anything he turned his mind to. Once his wife, in desperation, asked him to invent something to shut the dogs up! Seems they had two bull misstifs that could raise a terrible racket when they got excited.
So Edwin set his mind to it and invented a speaker that would shout at the dogs when their noise got to an intollerable decibel level. Since his was the only voice they would obey, the recorded message was in his own voice. And it worked; when the voice boomed out, it quieted them instantly.
But, one evening the Lands were having a party and the house was full of guests, really making merry and whooping it up. The noise kept getting louder and louder, until finally a slamming door did it: it reached the decibel level to activate the speaker.
"BE QUIET! SIT!" And of course all the guests, recognizing the master's voice did, more...

If Filipinos invent a luxury car, what would it be? It would be shape like a mango for aerodynamic.
Its tires would be made of spartan tsinelas.
The seat would be made of ratan.
The engine would be a carabao.
The body frame would be made of kawayan.
The cover would be made of coconut leaves.
The carpet would be banig.
It is held together by abaca.
There would be a star logo on the hood & the rear.
The mirror would be graphite rock.
The windshield would be air.
The radio would be themselves.

Why did God invent economists? So accountants could have someone to laugh at.

Why did god invent alcohol? - So fat women can get laid too.