Ditch Jokes / Recent Jokes

One day, two men were digging a ditch in the hot sun, when one said to the other, "Why are we down in this hole digging a ditch in the hot sun, when our boss is standing up there in the shade of a tree?" "I don't know, but I'll go ask him," replied the other.
So, he climbed out of the hole and walked over to his boss. "Why are we digging in the sun and you're standing in the shade?" he asked.
"It's called 'intelligence'," the boss replied.
"What do you mean, ‘intelligence'?" asked the man.
The boss said, "I'll show you. I'll put my hand on this tree and I want you to hit it with your fist as hard as you can." The ditch digger took a swing and tried to hit his boss' hand, but the boss removed his hand and the ditch digger ended up hitting the tree instead. "That's intelligence!" said the boss.
The ditch digger went back to the hole. When his friend asked what the boss had said, he replied, more...

A pair of Irish ditch diggers were repairing some road damage directly across the street from a house of prostitution. They witnessed a Protestant minister lurking about, then duck into the house. "Would ye look at that, Darby!" said Pat. "What a shameful disgrace, those Protestant reverends sinning in a house the likes of that place!" They both shook their heads and continued working. A short time later they watched as a Rabbi looked around cautiously and then darted into the house when he was satisfied no one was looking. "Did ya see that, Darby?" Pat asked in shock and disbelief, "Is nothing holy to those Jewish rabbis? I just can`t understand what the world is coming to these days. A man of the cloth indulging himself in sins of the flesh. T`is a shame, I tell ya!" Not much later a third man, a Catholic priest, was seen lurking about the house, looking around to see if anyone was watching, then quietly sneaked in. "Oh no, Darby, more...

A squad of American soldiers was patrolling along the Iraqi border. To their surprise, they found the badly mangled dead body of an Iraqi soldier in a ditch along the road.

A short distance up the road, they found a badly mangled American soldier in a ditch on the other side of the road, who was still barely alive. They ran to him, cradled his blood-covered head and asked him what had happened.

"Well," he whispered, "I was walking down this road, armed to the teeth. I came across this heavily armed Iraqi border guard. I looked him right in the eye and shouted, "Saddam Hussein is an unprincipled, lying piece of trash!" He looked me right in the eye and shouted back, "Bill Clinton is an unprincipled, lying piece of trash too!"

"We were standing there shaking hands when the truck hit us."

An out-of-towner accidentally drives his car into a deep ditch on the side of a country road. Luckily a farmer happened by with his big old horse named Benny.
The man asked for help. The farmer said Benny could pull his car out. So he backed Benny up and hitched Benny to the man's car bumper.
Then he yelled, "Pull, Nellie, pull."
Benny didn't move.
Then he yelled, "Come on, pull Ranger."
Still, Benny didn't move.
Then he yelled really loud, "Now pull, Fred, pull hard."
Benny just stood.
Then the farmer nonchalantly said,
"Okay, Benny, pull."
Benny pulled the car out of the ditch.
The man was very appreciative but curious. He asked the farmer why he called his horse by the wrong name three times.
The farmer said, "Oh, Benny is blind, and if he thought he was the only one pulling he wouldn't even try."

An out-of-towner accidentally drives his car into a deep ditch on the side of a country road. Luckily a farmer happened by with his big old horse named Benny.The man asked for help. The farmer said Benny could pull his car out. So he backed Benny up and hitched Benny to the man's car bumper.Then he yelled, "Pull, Nellie, pull."Benny didn't move.Then he yelled, "Come on, pull Ranger."Still, Benny didn't move.Then he yelled really loud, "Now pull, Fred, pull hard."Benny just stood.Then the farmer nonchalantly said,"Okay, Benny, pull."Benny pulled the car out of the ditch.The man was very appreciative but curious. He asked the farmer why he called his horse by the wrong name three times.The farmer said, "Oh, Benny is blind, and if he thought he was the only one pulling he wouldn't even try."