Divorce Jokes / Recent Jokes

What do a divorce in Alabama, a tornado in Kansas and a hurricane in Florida have in common?
Somebody's fixin' to lose them a house trailer.

A new York Divorce Lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. Saint Peter asks him "What have you done to merit entrance into Heaven?" The Lawyer thought a moment, then said, "A week ago, I gave a quarter to a homeless person on the street." Saint Peter asked Gabriel to check this out in the record, and after a moment Gabriel affirmed that this was true. Saint Peter said, "Well, that's fine, but it's not really quite enough to get you into Heaven." The Lawyer said, "Wait Wait! There's more! Three years ago I also gave a homeless person a quarter." Saint Peter nodded to Gabriel, who after a moment nodded back, affirming this, too, had been verified. Saint Peter then whispered to Gabriel, "Well, what do you suggest we do with this fellow?" Gabriel gave the Lawyer a sidelong glance, then said to Saint Peter, "Let's give him back his 50 cents and tell him to go to Hell." Each man gives a story Three men were standing in line to more...

Well, Mrs. O'Connor, so you want a divorce? the solicitor questionedhis client. "Tell me about it. Do you have a grudge?""Oh, no," replied Mrs. O'Connor. "Shure now, we have a carport."The solicitor tried again. "Well, does the man beat you up?""No, no," said Mrs. O'Connor, looking puzzled. "I'm always first outof bed."Still hopeful, the solicitor tried once again. "Well, does he go in forunnatural connubial practices?""Shure now, he plays the flute, but I don't think he knows anything aboutthe connubial."Now desperate, the solicitor pushed on. "What I'm trying to find out arewhat grounds you have.""Bless ye, sor. We live in a flat - not even a window box, let alone grounds.""Mrs. O'Connor," the solicitor said in considerable exasperation,"you need a reason that the court can consider. What is the reason for youseeking this divorce?""Ah, well now," said the more...

Why did Diana and Charles get divorced?

They had a fight over who wore the skirt in the family.

Q: What do you call an unmarried blond in a BMW?
A: A divorcee

A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing “Love” stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over
them.His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says, “I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, ‘Guess who?’”“But why?” asks the man.“I'm a divorce lawyer,” the man replies.

Once my divorce was final, I went to the local Department of Motor Vehicles and asked to have my maiden name reinstated on my driver's license."Will there be any change of address?" the clerk inquired."No," I replied."Oh, good," she said, clearly delighted. "You got the house."