Divorce Jokes / Recent Jokes

"I say, I say, I say. Why did the lighthouse keeper's marriage end in divorce?"

"I don't know. Why did it end in divorce?"

"It was on the rocks from the beginning."

A girl wonders why her parents got a divorce she asked her mom her mom said adult reasons.
So the girl knows thats not it so she comments to her friend and and her friend said, look at her I.D. that has all the information so she and tells her mom iknow why you and daddy got a divorce she says why sweetie cause you got an F in sex.

Two story houseA man appears before a judge one day, asking for a divorce. The judge quietly reviews some papers and then says,"Please tell me why you are seeking a divorce." "Because," the man says,"I live in a two-story house." The Judge replies, "What kind of a reason is that? What is the big deal about a two-story house?" The man answers, "Well Judge, one story is' I have a headache' and the other story is' It's that time of the month.'

Staring down from the bench to announce the terms of thedivorce decree, the judge turned to the husband and said:"Im going to award her alimony in the amount of $250 a month." To which the womans about-to-be ex replied: "Thats mightykind of you, judge. Ill try to help her all I can, too."

Bachelor: 1) A guy who has avoided the opportunity to make some woman miserable. 2) A guy who is footloose and fiancee-free. 3) A man who every morning comes to work from a different direction. 4) A man who never makes the same mistake once. 5) A nice guy who has cheated some nice girl out of her alimony. 6) A person who believes in life, liberty, and the happiness of pursuit. 7) A selfish guy who has cheated some woman out of a divorce.. 8) The only man who has never told his wife a lie.Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.Cad: A man who doesn't tell his wife that he's sterile until she's pregnant.Childish game: One at which your spouse beats you.Compromise: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her have her own way.Diplomat: A man who can convince his wife she would look stout in a fur coat.Engagement: A call to arms; hence as day follows night, divorce is disarmament.Gentleman: 1) A husband who steadies the stepladder so more...

> A Mom is driving a little girl to her friends house for a play date.
> >
> > "Mommy," the little girl asks, "how old are you?"
> >
> > "Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age," the mother warns.
> > "It is not polite."
> >
> > "Ok," the little girl says, "How much do you weigh?"
> >
> > "Now really," the mother says, "these are personal questions and are
> > really none of your business."
> >
> > Undaunted, the little girl asks, "Why did you and daddy get a divorce?"
> >
> > "That is enough questions, honestly!"
> >
> > The exasperated mother walks away as the two friends begin to play.
> >
> > "My Mom wouldn't tell me anything," the little girl says to her friend.
> >
> > "Well," said the friend, "all you need to do is look at her drivers
> > more...

With the divorce rate so high in America, a new organization has beenformed called "Marriage Anonymous." Whenever a guy feels like gettingmarried, they send over a woman with crulers in her hair, cream on herface and wearing a torn housecoat to nag him out of it.