Doberman Jokes

The Americans and Russians at the height of the arms race realized that if they continued in the usual manner they were going to blow up the whole world.
One day they sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dog fight. They'd have five years to breed the best fighting dog in the world and which ever side's dog won would be entitled to dominate the world. The losing side would have to lay down its arms.
The Russians found the biggest meanest Doberman and Rottweiler bitches in the world and bred them with the biggest meanest Siberian wolves. They selected only the biggest and strongest puppy from each litter, killed his siblings, and gave him all the milk. They used steroids and trainers and after five years came up with the biggest meanest dog the world had ever seen.
Its cage needed steel bars that were five inches thick and nobody could get near it. When the day came for the dog fight, the Americans showed up with a strange animal. It was a nine foot long more...

A highly timid little man ventured into a biker bar in the Bronx and clearing his throat asked, "Um, err, which of you gentlemen owns the Doberman tied outside to the parking meter?"
A giant of a man, wearing biker leathers, his body hair growing out through the seams, turned slowly on his stool, looked down at the quivering little man and said, "It's my dog. Why?"
"Well," squeaked the little man, obviously very nervous, "I believe my dog just killed it, sir."
"What?" roared the big man in disbelief. "What in the hell kind of dog do you have?"
"Sir," answered the little man, "it's a little four week old female puppy."
"Bull!" roared the biker, "how could your puppy kill my Doberman?"
"It appears that your dog choked on her, sir"

The taco Bell chihuahua dog, a doberman, and a bulldog all walk into a bar. A female collie then walks in. The collie says, ''Whoever can say liver and cheese the most creativly, can have me. So the bulldog goes ''I love liver and cheese'' The collie says ''Not good enough'' The doberman says ''I hate liver and cheese'' The collie goes, ''Not creative enough'' Then the chihuahua dog says, ''Liver alone, cheese mine.''

Two women were out for a Saturday stroll with their dogs. One had a Doberman and the other, a Chihuahua.


As they walked down the street, the one with the Doberman said to her friend,


"Let's go over to that bar for a drink." The lady with the Chihuahua said, "We can't go in there. We've got dogs with us."


The one with the Doberman said, "Just watch, and do as I do."


They walked over to the bar and the one with the Doberman put on a pair of dark glasses and started to walk in. The bouncer at the door said, "Sorry, lady, no pets allowed."


The woman with the Doberman said, "You don't understand. This is my Guide dog - I'm blind."


The bouncer said, "A Doberman?" The woman said, "Yes, they're using them now. They're very good."


The bouncer said, "OK, come on in."


The lady with the Chihuahua thought more...

The Taco Bell Chihuahua, a Doberman and a Bulldog are in a bar having adrink when a great-looking female Collie comes up to them and says, "Whoever can say liver and cheese in a sentence can have me." So the Doberman says, "I love liver and cheese." The Collie replies, "Thats not good enough." The Bulldog says, "I hate liver and cheese." She says, "Thats not creative enough." Finally, the Chihuahua says, "Liver alone. . . cheese mine."