Dollar Jokes / Recent Jokes

Which is better, an old ten dollar bill or a new one? An old ten dollar bill is better than a new one.

A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait.Once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying "A dollar per point."The next class the professor handed the graded tests back out. This student got back his test, his test grade, and $64 change.

Guy walks into the bar, goes up to the bartender. Reaching into his pants pocket, he pulls out a hundred dollar bill. “Set up everybody in the place! ” he shouts. The bartender obliges.
Suddenly, a little man jumps out of the guy’s pocket, runs down the bar, and kicks all of the drinks, smokes, change, etc on the floor. He runs back and jumps back into the guy’s pocket.
The Bartender asks what’s going on. The guy just reaches back into his pants pocket, pulls out another hundred, and says “just set everybody up again. ” Bartender obliges once more, suspiciously watching the guy.
Once more the little man appears from the guy’s shirt pocket. Runs down the bar, breaks the glasses, pitches the napkins into the air, etc. Runs back and jumps into the shirt pocket again. This time the guy buttons the pocket.
Bartender says “explain yourself, or leave. ”
Guy says “Well…. I was walking down the beach one day, and ran across a bottle in the sand. more...

There was a man, who walked into a small Chinatown shop to look around.
He saw a golden rat, and asked the oriental behind the counter how much it
cost.
"Golden Rat, one hundred dollar. Story behind Golden Rat three
hundred dollar."
The man decided just to buy the Golden Rat, so he pays
for it and leaves.
A rat that was in the shop follows him out, as does a
rat in the alley outside. Before he's walked a street away, he's being
followed by ten rats, then a hundred, then a thousand. The man starts to
panic, and starts running away, while more and more rats follow him. He
ran right across the town, and got himself trapped by the sea. He
hesitated for a second, then dives off the wharf and starts swimming.
Looking back, he saw that the rats were still following him, but the
second they hit the water, they turned to stone and sank. About fifteen
minutes later (well, it takes a while to kill ten thousand rats), the more...

Of course you know they have changed the look of twenty dollar bills recently.
What happens to the old ones?
Bill Gates gets them!

3 sales men are traveling they need to find a place to stop and rest so they go to a hotel the clerk says ok that will be $15 so each of them brings out $5 and go up to there room the manager comes by the clerk and says you over charged them it was suppose to be only $10 so the clerk takes out $5 out of the cash register and is thinking how am i going to split $5 between 3 people so he pockets $2 and gives each of the people $1 back well then that means that each of them would have only payed $4 so 4 times 3 is $12 plus the $2 the guy pocketed which is $14 so what happened to the dollar?

If George Washington were alive today, why couldn't he throw a silver dollar across the Potomac? Because a dollar doesn't go as far as it used to.