Dollar Jokes / Recent Jokes

There was an old country preacher who had a teenage son, and it was getting time the boy should give some thought along the line of choosing a profession. Like many young men, then and now, the boy didn't really know what he wanted to do - and he didn't seem overly concerned about it.
One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided to try an experiment. What he did was, he went into the boy's room and placed on his study table these three objects: a Bible, a silver dollar, and a bottle of whiskey...
"Now then," the old preacher said to himself, "I'll just hide behind the door here, and when my son comes home from school this afternoon, I'll see which of these three objects he picks up. If he picks up the Bible, he's going to be a preacher like me, and what a blessing that would be! If he picks up the dollar, he's going to be a businessman, and that would be o.k. too. But if he picks up the bottle, he's going to be a drunkard - a no-good drunkard more...

A tour guide was showing a tourist around Washington, D. C. The guide pointed out the place where George Washington supposedly threw a dollar across the Potomac River."That's impossible," said the tourist. "No one could throw a coin that far!""You have to remember," answered the guide. "A dollar went a lot farther in those days."

Three men were traveling around the country. They stopped by in this one town and asked to spend the night at a hotel. The hotel manager charged them 27 dollars for a room that had three beds in it. So that means that each man payed 9 dollars. After they went to the room, the maneger thought he had charged them too much for the room so he decided that the room would cost 22 dollars. He called the bell boy over and gave him five one dollar bills, telling him to give it to the three men. On his way up to the room, the bell hoy realized that he wouldn't be able to split the money between the three men equally, so he stuffed two of the dollar bills into his own pocket. Now, if you're following me that means that each man payed 8 dollars for the room(becasue they got a dollar back). 8 x 3 is 24. The bell boy has two dollar bills in his own pocket(so you add 2 right!!!). That equals 26. What happened to the other dollar?
Answer: It cost 22 dollars for the room. but they got back 5 more...

A lawyer, known more for his drinking at the bar than for his practice before it, died in poverty.
The other attorneys from the city, feeling sorry for his family, started a fund to cover his funeral expenses.
A local businessman was asked to make a contribution.
"Will you please donate a dollar, so we can bury a lawyer?"
"Only a dollar to bury a lawyer?" asked the businessman, "Here's $100 -- go and bury 99 more of them."

A couple of days ago, I was rushing around attempting to do some last minute shopping. At the time, I was very stressed out and not thinking very fondly of the Christmas season at all.
It was dark, cold and wet in the parking lot as I was loading my car with the gifts I felt obligated to buy. It was then that I noticed I was missing a receipt that I might need later. Grumbling under my breath, I headed back to the mall entrance.
As I searched the pavement for the lost receipt, I heard a quiet sobbing. Upon investigating, I found that the crying was coming from a shabbily dressed boy of about 12 years old. He was short and thin, had no coat, and was only wearing an old, tattered flannel shirt to protect him from the cold night's chill. Strangely enough, he was holding a hundred dollar bill in his hand.
Thinking that he had gotten lost from his parents, I asked him what was wrong. He told me his sad story. He said that he came from a large family. He had three brothers and more...

A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.
A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.
A crocodile cannot stick out its tongue.
A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours.
A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.
A "jiffy" is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.
A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.
A snail can sleep for three years.
Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer.
All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill.
Almonds are a member of the peach family.
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age.
Butterflies taste with their feet.
Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds. Dogs only have about 10.
"Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt".
February 1865 is the only month in recorded more...

Playing golf with his buddies, my grandfather had to make a slick, 45-foot, downhill putt. As he lined it up, he announced, "I have a dollar bill that says I can make this putt. Does anyone want to bet?"

His three friends eagerly agreed to the wager. My grandfather missed the putt by ten feet, and his friends gathered around to collect their money. Grandfather pulled out a dollar bill on which he had printed, "I can make this putt."

His pals are still trying to collect on the bet; and so is my grandfather!