Donate Jokes / Recent Jokes

An elephant and an ant was riding a bike the had an accident and the elephant got hurt but the ant didn't. why? because he was wearing a helmet but still the ant went to the hospital. why? to donate blood.

A man and a woman were waiting in line at the hospital donation center. Man: "What are you doing here today?" Woman: "Oh, I'm here to donate some blood. They're going to give me $5 for it." Man: "Hmm, that's interesting. I'm here to donate sperm, myself. But they pay me $25." The woman looked thoughtful for a moment and they chatted some more before going their separate ways. Several months later, the same man and woman meet again in the same line. Man: "Hi there! Here to donate blood again?" Woman: (nodding her head with mouth closed) "Unh unh."

A man and a woman were waiting at the hospital donation center.
Man: "What are you doing here today?"
Woman: "Oh, I'm here to donate some blood. They're going to give me $5 for it."
Man: "Hmm, that's interesting. I'm here to donate sperm, myself. But they pay me $25."
The woman looked thoughtful for a moment and they chatted some more before going their separate ways. A couple months later, the same man and woman meet again in the donation center.
Man: "Oh, hi there! Here to donate blood again?"
Woman: [shaking her head with mouth closed] "Unh unh."

A guy from Tyson Foods arranges to visit the Pope. After receiving the papal blessing, he whispers, “Your Eminence, do we have a deal for you. If you change The Lord's Prayer from ‘give us this day our daily bread....’ to ‘give us this day our daily chicken....’ we will donate $500 million dollars to the Church.” The Pope responds saying, “That is impossible. The Prayer is the Word of the Lord and it must not be changed.” “Well,” says the Tyson man, “we are prepared to donate $1 billion to the Church if you change the Lord's Prayer from ‘give us this day our daily bread....’ to ‘give us this day our daily chicken....’”Again, the Pope replies, “That is impossible. The Prayer is the Word of the Lord and it must not be changed.” Finally, the Tyson guy says, “This is our last offer. We will donate $5 billion to the church if you change the Lord's Prayer
from ‘give us this day our daily bread...’ to ‘give us this day our daily more...

After watching sales falling off for three straight months at Kentucky Fried Chicken, the Colonel calls up the Pope and asks for a favor.

The Pope says, "What can I do?"

The Colonel says, "I need you to change the daily prayer from,' Give us this day our daily bread' to' Give us this day our daily chicken'. If you do it, I'll donate 10 Million Dollars to the Vatican."

The Pope replies, "I am sorry. That is the Lord's prayer and I can not change the words." So the Colonel hangs up.

After another month of dismal sales, the Colonel panics, and calls again. "Listen your Excellency. I really need your help. I'll donate $50 million dollars if you change the words of the daily prayer from' Give us this day our daily bread' to' Give us this day our daily chicken.'"

And the Pope responds, "It is very tempting, Colonel Sanders. The church could do a lot of good with that much money. It would help more...

A man and a woman were waiting at the hospital donation center.
Man: "What are you doing here today?"
Woman: "Oh, I'm here to donate some blood. They're going to give me $5 for it."
Man: "Hmm, that's interesting. I'm here to donate sperm, myself. But they pay me $25."

The woman looked thoughtful for a moment and they chatted some more before going their separate ways.
Several months later, the same man and woman meet again in the donation center.
Man: "Oh, hi there! Here to donate blood again?"
Woman: [shaking her head with mouth closed] "Unh unh."

A guy from Tyson Foods arranged a visit with the Pope. After receiving the papal blessing he whispered, "Your Eminence, we have a deal for you. If you change The Lord's Prayer from 'Give us this day our daily bread...' to 'Give us this day our daily chicken...' then we will donate $500 million dollars to the Church".
The Pope responds saying, "That is impossible. The Prayer is the Word of the Lord and it must not be changed."
"Well," says the Tyson man, "We are prepared to donate one billion dollars to the Church if you change the Lord's Prayer from 'Give us this day our daily bread...' to 'Give us this day our daily chicken..."
Again the Pope replies "That is impossible. The Prayer is the Word of the Lord and it must not be changed."
Finally, the Tyson guy says, "This is our last offer. We will donate five billion dollars to the church if you change the Lord's Prayer from 'Give us this day our daily bread...' to more...