Donkey Jokes / Recent Jokes
At a church, a new priest was being trained. He was so nervous at his first mass
that he could hardly speak. Before his second week in the pulpit, he asked the
Monsignor how he could relax. The Monsignor said, "Next week it may help if you
put some Vodka in the water pitcher. After a few sips everything should go
smoothly."
The next Sunday the new priest put the suggestion into practice, and was able to
talk up a storm and did just great. Upon returning to the rectory, however, he
found a note from the Monsignor:
Next time, sip rather than gulp.
There are 10 commandments, not 12.
There are 12 disciples not 10.
David slew Goliath, he did not kick his ass.
We do not refer to our saviour Jesus Christ and his apostles as "J.C. and
the Boys."
Next week there is a taffy pulling contest at St. Peters, not a peter
pulling contest at St. Taffy's.
We do not refer to the cross as the "The Big more...
A preacher who wanted to raise money for his church was told there was a fortune in horse racing, so he decided to buy a horse and enter it in a race. However, at the local auction the going price for horses was so steep that he ended up buying a donkey instead. He figured, however, that since he had it he might as well go ahead and enter it in the races. To his surprise, in the first race his mule came in second. The next day the racing sheets carried this headline:
PREACHER'S ASS SHOWS
The preacher was so pleased that he entered the mule in another race. This time it won and the paper said:
PREACHER'S ASS OUT IN FRONT
The bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the preacher not to enter the donkey in another race. The new headline read:
BISHOP SCRATCHES PREACHER'S ASS
This was too much for the bishop and he ordered the preacher to get rid of the animal. The preacher gave it to a nun in a nearby convent. The headline the next day more...
A donkey kicked sardar & ran away, sardar ran to catch the donkey.
He saw a zebra and started beating it and said, ‘Sala tracksuit pahan ke dhoka de raha hai’.
A preacher who wanted to raise money for his church was told there was a fortune in horse racing, so he decided to buy a horse and enter it in a race. However, at the local auction the going price for horses was so steep that he ended up buying a donkey instead. He figured, however, that since he had it he might as well go ahead and enter it in the races. To his surprise, in the first race his mule came in second. The next day the racing sheets carried this headline:
PREACHER'S ASS SHOWS
The preacher was so pleased that he entered the mule in another race. This time it won and the paper said:
PREACHER'S ASS OUT IN FRONT
The bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the preacher not to enter the donkey in another race. The new headline read:
BISHOP SCRATCHES PREACHER'S ASS
This was too much for the bishop and he ordered the preacher to get rid of the animal. The preacher gave it to a nun in a nearby convent. The headline the next day more...
A preacher who wanted to raise money for his church was told there was a fortune in horse racing, so he decided to buy a horse and enter it in a race. However, at the local auction the going price for horses was so steep that he ended up buying a donkey instead. He figured, however, that since he had it he might as well go ahead and enter it in the races. To his surprise, in the first race his mule came in second. The next day the racing sheets carried this headline:PREACHER'S ASS SHOWSThe preacher was so pleased that he entered the mule in another race. This time it won and the paper said:PREACHER'S ASS OUT IN FRONTThe bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the preacher not to enter the donkey in another race. The new headline read:BISHOP SCRATCHES PREACHER'S ASSThis was too much for the bishop and he ordered the preacher to get rid of the animal. The preacher gave it to a nun in a nearby convent. The headline the next day said:NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWNThe more...
one guy walks in to a bar sees a crying donkey sitting on a pot of gold and he asks the bartender whats up with the gold? The bartender said if you can get the donkey to shut up the gold is yours.
The guy says ok, and he walks over to the donkey and whispers something in the donkeys ear the donkeys cracks up laughing so the guy gets the pot of gold.
A week later he walks into the bar and sees the donkey still laughing sitting on another pot of gold he asks the the bartender was up with the gold the bar tender said if you can get the donkey to shut up, I'll give you the gold.
The guy says ok but ill have to take him out side the bartender says ok then the guy takes the donkey out side for a min walks back in 5 min later and the donkys crying again the bartender asks how in the hell did you do that the guy says to make him laugh I said my dick was bigger than his, and to make him cry I showed him.