Downstairs Jokes / Recent Jokes

Herman and Martha were happily married for nearly forty years. The
only friction in their marriage was caused by the husband's habit of breaking
wind nearly every morning as he awoke. The noise would always wake up Martha
and the smell would cause her eyes to water as she would choke and gasp for
air. Nearly every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping one in
the morning. Herman told her that he couldn't help it. She begged him to
visit a doctor to see if anything could be done, but the husband wouldn't
hear of it. He told her that it was just a natural bodily function, and then
he would laugh in her face as she tried to wave the fumes away with her
hands. She told him that there was nothing natural about it and if he didn't
stop, he was one day going to "fart his guts out."
The years went by and Martha continued to suffer and Herman continued
to ignore her warnings about "farting his guts out" until one more...

About halfway through the reception, the brides mother went to her daughter and said, "Go upstairs and ah make ah your husband ah happy, eh?" The bride did as she was told, and upon finding her new husband, she took him upstairs above the celebrating crowd`s watchful eye. He knew what was to take place, wasting no time, he took his tuxedo jacket, dress shirt and t-shirt off. She noticed that he had a hairy chest! Aghast, she quickly ran downstairs, found her mother and told her "Momma, he`s got ah hairy chest!" Her mother, in hopes to calm her down, said "Go upstairs and ah make ah your husband ah happy, eh?" She went back upstairs. He then took off his pants and she noticed that his legs were hairy too! She was quite old fashioned and didn`t know what to think, so she ran downstairs yet again to find her mother. She found her, pulled her aside and said, "Momma, Momma Mia - he`s got ah hairy legs too, what am I ah going to do, eh?" Her mother more...

A ship was travelling over a rough sea when all of a sudden a violent storm broke out.
The people on the boat were extremely scared of being thrown overboard so they all went downstairs. When the big waves started throwing the ship around there were still three people on deck who refused to go downstairs.
After a few hard knocks the ship was turned upside down and sank. The only survivors were the three guys who stayed on deck who washed up on a deserted island.
The next morning the guys decided that they would have to live together in harmony and they made an agreement to be friends.
Two days later after the three guys had built a shelter and found some fresh water and fruit, a bottle washed up on the shore. One of the guys walked up the beach and brought the bottle back to the shelter for the others to see.
Blaze, the smartest of the three said they should open it. Jay, the strongest of the three grabbed the bottle and pulled at the cork wedged tightly in the more...

there is this little girl called fuckherharder she is 16 years old but has a mental condision so she acts younger her mum an dad had 2 go out 1 day an she had 2 stay home alone her mum said 2 her
"do not open the door 2 any 1"
fuckherharder said "ok mummy" but fuckherharder finks she ment let every1 in the house.
every1 had gone out and the milkman came round milkman says
"hey can i have the money 4 the milk plz"
fuckherharder said "come in an wait till my mummy gets bak i dunno how long she will b tho"
the milkman says "would u like 2 show me ur room"
she reply "sure come with me" he sat on her bed an said come her sexy. she went an sat next 2 him he says 2 her
" u c my trousers" she replys "yes they r sticking up in the air how come???" he replys"i have sumfin 2 stick in ur virgina" he takes her clothes off her she doesnt know wot sex is so she thought it woz a more...