Dozen Jokes / Recent Jokes
The world's best and most famous conductor makes a small mistake
while conducting the New York Symphony Orchestra. The audience
doesn't notice, the orchestra didn't notice either, but he knew
he'd made the mistake and decided that he should retire. Once the
performance had finished, he turned and faced the audience and said
"Ladies and Gentleman, this is my last performance as a world class
conductor. I'm now announcing my retirement."
After a few minutes silence from the shocked audience, and orchestra
too, he was greeted with boos and hisses. He walked from the stage,
only to be met by his manager, standing in between two gorilla-sized
bodyguards. "Oh no you don't", his manager said, "you're not retiring."
Forced backed to work by his manager, he endured week after week of
conducting he no longer wanted to do. While lying in bed one night
with his wife of many years, he turned to her and said more...
Two Americans, a businessman and a lawyer, were traveling on a train in Europe. Sharing the compartment with them were a Cuban and a Russian.
After an hour of travel, the Russian takes a brand new bottle of vodka out and asks if any of his companions would like to have a drink with him. All accept and so the Russian pours a drink for the other three and himself. Then he throws the rest of the bottle out the window of the train. The American businessman looks on in disbelief.
"Why did you throw that fine bottle of vodka out the window? In the US that brand of vodka is very expensive!"
The Russian replied: "In my country we have all the vodka we'll ever be able to drink. It's one thing that we have plenty of. I'll get a dozen bottles just like it for the equivalent of one US dime."
After everyone had finished their vodka, the Cuban got out a new box of fine Havana cigars and asked if any of his companions would like one to smoke. Every one more...
One day a police man goes into a barber shop for a hair cut. After the hair cut he asks the barber, "How much would that be?".
The barber replied back,"No, I don't take money. I do volunteer job sir." The police man said thanks and left. The next day, when the barber when to open the store, there was a dozen donuts with a card saying Thank you.
The next day a florist goes to the barber shop and gets a hair cut. She asks,"How much would that be sir?' The barber replies, "I don't take money because I do volunteer job." The florist says thanks and leaves. The next day when the barber comes to open the store, there was a dozen flowers with a thank you card on the door.
The next day an indian computer engineer goes to the barber shop for a hair cut. He then asks the barber, "How much would that b sir?". Thew barber replies, "I don't take money. I do volunteer job here. The tamil guy says thanks and leaves. The next day when more...