Dragon Jokes / Recent Jokes

"Merlin, Inc. technical support. How can I help you?"
"Yesterday I've bought your sword..."
"Congratulations, sir, you've made the right choice!"
"It doesn't work."
"What does it mean - doesn't work?"
"It doesn't cut the dragon's head."
"Have you read the manual, sir?"
"A noble knight have not to know how to read! But my armour-bearer has read it for me aloud twice."
"Well, sir. Have you taken the sword out of the sheath?"
"Yes."
"Is that really so? Check it again, please."
"I've done it, I say to you!"
Okay, sir. Now check the edge sharpness."
"Ough!"
"You shouldn't do it with your finger, sir."
"What thinger? I've done it with my phongue! I always check a sharp flavour of my dishes like that."
"You see, sir, a sword has a bit different construction than your more...

After recalling 338,000 Sony made battery packs used in its laptop computers, Fujitsu has challenged Sony to a Dragon Circle Death Match, an ancient Japanese battle to the death.

Sony is heavily favored, having trained with the dragon masters for centuries, but Fujitsu has been training in the Dandenong mountains with a mysterious teacher, and may be a formidable foe. The fight will take place at midnight on the first quarter moon in the Year of the Bitch.

Q: How many Arians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Just the one. You want to make something of it, eh?

Q: How many congressmen does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Five hundred and thirty-five, but only if the following conditions are met: The light bulb will not be changed in an election year. A committee will study the light-bulb situation for at least a year. Taxes will have to be raised. A fair and proportionate number of the light-bulb changers will be from minority groups. No Social Security funds will be used to change the bulb. Each state and congressional district will share in the benefits of changing the light bulb. The blame for the failure of the present bulb will be assigned to the other party. The new bulb will be twice as bright as the old bulb. Because the new bulb is twice as bright as the old bulb, it will cost 130 times as much. A Blue Ribbon Panel will investigate the light-bulb failures and issue a mega-page report to the congress. more...

Michael the Dragon Master was an official in King Arthur's court. He had a long-standing obsession to nuzzle the beautiful Queen's voluptuous breasts. But he knew the penalty for this would be death.
One day he revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Horatio, who was the King's chief physician. Horatio said, "I can arrange it, but I will need 1,000 gold coins to pay bribes." Michael the Dragon Master readily agreed.
The next day Horatio made up a batch of itching powder and poured a little of it into the Queen's brassiere while she was taking a bath. Soon after she dressed, the itching commenced and grew in intensity. Upon being called to the royal chambers, Horatio told the King that only a special saliva, if applied for four hours, would cure this type of itch, and that tests had shown such a saliva was only to be found in Michael the Dragon Master's mouth.
King Arthur summoned Michael the Dragon Master. Michael the Dragon Master slipped the antidote more...

Once there was a man named Qi Yan who had a pussy cat, and believing it to be rare, named it "Tiger Cat." One of his guests said, "Brave as a tiger is, it is not so vigorous as a dragon. Why not name it Dragon Cat?" Another one suggested, "No doubt a dragon is more vigorous than a lion, yet a dragon needs the aid of floating clouds to soar up into the sky. Aren't clouds more noble than a dragon? You'd better call it Cloud Cat." A third reasoned, "It's true that clouds can cover the sky, but they scatter the moment the wind appears. Wind is more powerful than clouds, so name your cat Wind Cat." A fourth argued, "However strong the wind is, it is blocked wherever there is a wall, Wall Cat would be much better." A fifth made his suggestion: "As solid as a wall is, a mouse can make a hole in it. A wall will no longer be strong if there are holes. How can a wall be a match for a mouse? My advice is to call it Mouse Cat." An old more...

The Teabagging
The all time classic manoeuvre of tapping your cock on a chick's forehead whilst she is sucking on your balls, and uttering the timeless phrase "Who's Your daddy?"
The Houdini
Going at it doggy-style until you are just about to come, then pull out and spit on her back so she thinks that you have. When she turns around a blast is unleashed into her face and she is left shocked and amazed, wondering how you managed it.
The Angry Dragon
Immediately after you blow your load in a girl's mouth, smack the back of her head and make it come out her nose. When she gets up look like an angry dragon.
Cum Guzzling Sperm Burping Bitch
The once in a lifetime act of blowing a hot steamy load down the back of a girl's throat and then proceeding to give her a large cold bottle of your favourite carbonated drink, making her guzzle it down.
Then, shake her head vigorously back and forth to create the Cum Guzzling, Sperm Burping effect. A great way more...

INTERVIEW WITH THE EASTER BUNNY

With the possible exception of Santa Claus himself, there is not a busier mammal on the face of the earth than the Easter Bunny. Once a year, the Easter Bunny hops into the home of hundreds of millions of boys and girls all over the globe, dropping off chocolates, candy and eggs as part of the celebration of Easter. Our Staff spent a few minutes with the Easter Bunny as he was preparing for this year's task, for a tell-all, no-holds-barred interview. If you thought you knew the Easter Bunny, you just may be surprised.

Our Staff: Thanks for talking to us.

Easter Bunny: No problem. Do you mind if I eat while we talk? (takes out a packet of small green pellets) I've been in a rush recently.

OS: Go right ahead. We've got a list of questions here, compiled from our members, and I'll just go down the list if you don't mind.

EB: Ready when you are.

OS: The first question comes from Ted, in more...