Saliva Jokes

Once upon a time, and far, far away lived a beautiful Queen with voluptuous breasts.

Nick the Dragon slayer knew that the penalty for his desire would be death should he try to touch them.

One day Nick revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Horatio the Physician, who was the King's chief doctor.

Horatio the Physician, exclaimed that he could arrange for Nick the Dragon Slayer to satisfy his desire, but it would cost him 1, 000 gold coins to arrange it.

Without pause, Nick the Dragon Slayer readily agreed to the scheme. The next day, Horatio the Physician made a batch of itching powder and poured a little bit into the Queen's brassiere while she bathed. Soon after she dressed, the itching commenced and grew intense.

Upon being summoned to the Royal Chambers to address this incident, Horatio the Physician informed the King and Queen that only a special saliva, if applied for four hours, would cure this type of itch, and that more...

A Guy Opens A Bar To Make The Bar More Popular He Put A 10ft Fish Tank And Said Whoever Walks Into My Bar Has To Spit In It 2
Yrs Pass By And The Tank Is Full He Had To Empty The Tank Out Somewhere b'coz He Didnt Want To By Another Tank Saying That
This Tank Was Very Lucky So He Had A Competition It Was That If A Person Can Drink The Whole Tank Of Spit He Would Have A
Life Time Supply Of Booze. Three Contestants Sign Up So The 1st Contestant Sips And Sips And Starts Vomiting, The 2nd
Contestant Has Five Sips And Starts Vomiting, 3rd Contestant Sips And Stops Sips And Stops Like This He Finishes The Wholw
Tank So The Bar Owner Asked Him Why Did U Sip And Stop Sip And Stop So The Third Contestant Turns Around And Tells Him I Was
Chewing On The Lumps Of Saliva....

You'll never eat fast food again!

This girl was really in a hurry one day so she just stopped off at a Taco Bell and got a Chicken soft taco and ate it on the way home.

Well that night she noticed her jaw was kind of tight and swollen. The next day it was a little worse so she went to her doctor.

He said she was just have an allergic reaction to something and gave her some cream to rub on her jaw to help.

After a couple of days the swelling had just gotten worse and she could hardly move her jaw. She went back to her doctor to see what was wrong. Her doctor had no idea so he started to run some test. They scrubbed out the inside of her mouth to get tissue samples and they also took some saliva samples.

Well they found out what was wrong. Apparently her chicken soft taco had a pregnant roach in it. The eggs then some how got into her saliva glands and well she was incubating them. They had to remove a couple a layers of her inner more...

Thousands of men lined up in northern Germany last week to take part in extensive saliva testing in a search for the pedophile killer of an 11-year-old girl.>Police say they intend to test the saliva of 18,000 men over the next week in what the German press is calling the largest investigation of its kind in the country's history. The spit will be compared to the "genetic fingerprint" of the murderer.

An inquisitive young man was travelling in the train to another region in his country. He noticed that the old man in front of him kept tilting a bottle he had in paper bag and taking a drink. He got more and more mystifyed as he saw that the man did this every 5 minutes or so. A burning desire grew in him to check the bottle and its contents. When the old man finally got up to use the restroom the young man siezed the opportunity and drank off the bottle. He tasted something sticky and tasetless. Upon the return of the old man the young man said to him"Sir, forgive me, because I took a drink from your bottle to taste the drink you seemed to like so much, but i tasted something I have never tasted before. Can you tell me what it was. The old man smiled at the youmng man and said"you dumbass, that was no drink. I have tubercolosis and that was my saliva that I spat into the bottle"