Itch Jokes

Once upon a time, and far, far away lived a beautiful Queen with voluptuous breasts.

Nick the Dragon slayer knew that the penalty for his desire would be death should he try to touch them.

One day Nick revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Horatio the Physician, who was the King's chief doctor.

Horatio the Physician, exclaimed that he could arrange for Nick the Dragon Slayer to satisfy his desire, but it would cost him 1, 000 gold coins to arrange it.

Without pause, Nick the Dragon Slayer readily agreed to the scheme. The next day, Horatio the Physician made a batch of itching powder and poured a little bit into the Queen's brassiere while she bathed. Soon after she dressed, the itching commenced and grew intense.

Upon being summoned to the Royal Chambers to address this incident, Horatio the Physician informed the King and Queen that only a special saliva, if applied for four hours, would cure this type of itch, and that more...

What is total agony? A one-armed man hanging from a twenty story
building, with a serious case of jock itch.

What is total agony? A one-armed man hanging from a twenty storybuilding, with a serious case of jock itch.

There is an 80 year old virgin who suddenly gets an itch in her crotch
area. She goes to the doctor who checks her out and tells her she has
crabs.
She explained that she couldn't have crabs because she was a virgin, but
the doctor didn't believe her so she went to get a second opinion.
The second doctor gave her the same answer.
So she went to a third doctor and said "Please, help me, this itch is
killing me and I know I don't have crabs because I'm a virgin".
The doctor checks her out and says "I have good news and bad news. The good
news is you don't have crabs, the bad news is that your cherry rotted and you
have fruit flies."

. ..and Law of Mechanical Repair
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

...and Law of Gravity
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

...and Law of Probability
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

...and Law of Random Numbers
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.

...and Law of the Alibi
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

...and Variation Law
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

...and Law of the Bath
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

...and Law of Close Encounters
The probability of more...