Itch Jokes / Recent Jokes

Lorenz's Law of Mechanical Repair:
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
Anthony's Law of the Workshop:
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
Kovac's Conundrum:
When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.
Cannon's Karmic Law:
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tyre, the next morning you will have a flat tyre.
O'brien's Variation Law:
If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than
the one you are in now.
BELL'S THEOREM
When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.
RUBY'S PRINCIPLE OF CLOSE ENCOUNTERS
The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
WILLOUGHBY'S LAW
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
ZADRA'S LAW OF BIOMECHANICS
The severity of the itch is inversely more...

Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease your
nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.
Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least
accessible corner.
Law of probability: The probability of being watched is directly
proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy
signal.
Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you
had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in
will start to move faster than the one you are in now.
Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone
rings.
Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know
increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone more...

The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

The severity of the itch is proportional to inability to the reach it.
Two wrongs are only the beginning.
The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
A fool and his money are soon partying.

What is total agony? A one-armed man hanging from a twenty story
building, with a serious case of jock itch.

What is total agony? A one-armed man hanging from a twenty storybuilding, with a serious case of jock itch.

What did the clean dog say to the insect? Long time no flea! Who rode a dog and was a confederate general during the American Civil War? Robert E Flea! What is the difference between a flea bitten dog and a bored visitor? Ones going to itch and the other is itching to go! What do you call a cheerful flea? A hop-timist! What did the idiot do to the flea in his ear? Shot it! What did one flea say to the other after a night out? Shall we walk home or take a dog? What did the romantic flea say? I love you aw-flea! How to fleas travel? Itch hiking! What is the difference between fleas and dogs? Dogs can have fleas but fleas can't have dogs! Why did the stupid boy wear a turlte neck sweater? To hide his flea collar!