Itch Jokes / Recent Jokes
Once upon a time, and far, far away lived a beautiful Queen with voluptuous breasts.
Nick the Dragon slayer knew that the penalty for his desire would be death should he try to touch them.
One day Nick revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Horatio the Physician, who was the King's chief doctor.
Horatio the Physician, exclaimed that he could arrange for Nick the Dragon Slayer to satisfy his desire, but it would cost him 1, 000 gold coins to arrange it.
Without pause, Nick the Dragon Slayer readily agreed to the scheme. The next day, Horatio the Physician made a batch of itching powder and poured a little bit into the Queen's brassiere while she bathed. Soon after she dressed, the itching commenced and grew intense.
Upon being summoned to the Royal Chambers to address this incident, Horatio the Physician informed the King and Queen that only a special saliva, if applied for four hours, would cure this type of itch, and that more...
Law of Mechanical Repair
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.
Law of Gravity
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
Law of Probability
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Law of Random Numbers
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.
Law of the Alibi
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
Variation Law
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
Law of the Bath
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
Law of Close Encounters
The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you more...
There once was a 60 year old woman who suddenly developed a terrible itch in her private area. Not knowing what was wrong she went to her docter.
"doctor" she said "help i have a terrible itch in my private area, im a virgin and i cant figure out what is wrong with me."
The doctor told the woman she most likely had crabs.
"how can this be?" the woman said "i am a virgin, i have never been with a man."
she left and went to another doctor for a second opinion. this time she went to a very old and very wise doctor.
"doctor" she said "help i have a terrible itch in my private area, im a virgin and i cant figure out what is wrong with me."
again the doctor told her she may have crabs
"how can this be?" the woman said "i am a virgin, i have never been with a man."
the old wise doctor took a look and looking up at the old woman said "well i hate to tell you this but it looks more...
LAW OF QUEUE: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.
LAW OF TELEPHONE: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.
LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
LAW OF THE WORKSHOP: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
LAW OF THE ALIBI: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.
BATH THEOREM: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.
LAW OF ENCOUNTERS: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
LAW OF THE RESULT: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will!
LAW OF BIOMECHANICS: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
THEATRE more...
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.