Drawer Jokes / Recent Jokes

One day a mom asked her son if he would to the butcher's to get some meat for dinner. So he went to the butcher's and asked for some ham, but they said they were all out, so he asked for some turkey but they were out so he asked for some pork, but there was no pork, so he asked for bologna, but there were out. So for the last time he asked for any meat at all, but no meat at all! He had to bring his mother some meat or she would be disappointed in him, so he got a knife when the butcher was not looking and went into the bathroom and then slice! His right buttcheek was gone! So they had it that night. The next day the mom said, "That was good meat, I want some more." So he grabbed the knife from a kitchen drawer, went to the bathroom and slice! His left buttcheek was gone, and they had it that night for dinner! The next morning his mother asked, "Can you get some more of that meat?" So he grabbed a knife from the kitchen drawer, and went up to the bathroom and more...

A young couple gets married, and the groom asks his bride if he can have a dresser drawer of his own that she will never open. The bride agrees. After 30 years of marriage, she notices that his drawer has been left open. She peeks inside and sees 3 golf balls and $1, 000.
She confronts her husband and asks for an explanation. He explains "Every time I was unfaithful to you, I put a golf ball in the drawer." She figures 3 times in 30 years isn't bad and asks "But what about the $1, 000?" He replied "Whenever I got a dozen golf balls, I sold them"

Upon arriving home in eager anticipation of a leisurely evening, the husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she explained, "It's the druggist - he insulted me terribly this morning on the phone." Immediately the husband drove downtown to accost the druggist and demand an apology. Before he could say more than a word or two, the druggist told him, "Now, just a minute - listen to my side of it. This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up. I went without breakfast and hurried out to the car, but I'll be damned if I didn't lock the house with both house and car keys inside. I had to break a window to get my keys. Driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket. Then, about three blocks from the store I had a flat tire. When I finally got to the store there was a bunch of people waiting for me to open up. I got the store opened and started waiting on these people, and all the time the darn phone was ringing its head off. Then I more...

While enjoying a drink with a friend one night, a guy decides to try his luck with a gorgeous girl who's sitting alone by the bar. To his surprise, she asks him to join her for a drink and eventually asks him if he'd like to come back to her place.
The pair jump into a taxi and immediately upon arriving at her place, they dive onto the bed and spend the night hard at it.
Finally, completely worn out, he pulls out a cigarette from his jeans and searches for his lighter. Unable to find it, he asks the girl if she might happen to have one.
"Look in the top drawer of the bedside table," she says. "I may have some matches in there."
Opening the drawer, he finds a box of matches sitting neatly on top of a framed picture of another man. Obviously, this causes him to worry. "Is this your husband?" he asks nervously.
"No, silly, I'm not married," she replies, snuggling closer to him.
"Your boyfriend then?" he more...

A young accountant spends a week at his new office with the retiring accountant he is replacing. Each and every morning as the more experienced accountant begins the day, he opens his desk drawer, takes out a worn envelope, removes a yellowing sheet of paper, reads it, nods his head, looks around the room with renewed vigor, returns the envelope to the drawer, and then begins his days work. After he retires, the new accountant can hardly wait to read for himself the message contained in the envelope in the drawer, particularly since he feels so inadequate in replacing the far wiser and more highly esteemed accountant. Surely, he thinks to himself, it must contain the great secret to his success, a wondrous treasure of inspiration and motivation. His fingers tremble anxiously as he removes the mysterious envelope from the drawer and reads the following message:"Debits in the column toward t he file cabinet. Credits in the column toward the window."

While enjoying a drink with a mate one night, this bloke decides to try his luck with an attractive young girl sitting alone by the bar. To his surprise, she asks him to join her for a drink and eventually asks him if he'd like to come back to her place. The pair jump into a taxi and as soon as they get back to her flat they dive onto the bed and spend the night hard at it. Finally, the spent young bloke rolls over, pulls out acigarette from his jeans and searches for his lighter. Unable to find it, he asks the girl if she has one at hand."There might be some matches in the top drawer," she replies.Opening the drawer of the bedside table, he finds a box of matches sitting neatly on top of a framed picture of another man. Naturally, the bloke begins to worry. "Is this your husband?" he inquires nervously."No, silly," she replies, snuggling up to him."Your boyfriend then?""No, don't be daft," she says, nibbling away at his more...

I give all of these people a DUH! - DOH! - & Woo-hoo! HANDS-DOWN WINNER OF THE IDIOT CORPORATION AWARD! AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package. (Let that be a lesson to him!)WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS! Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them, shouting out to give himself up. (No one ever said you had to be "smart" to be a cop.)NOW THIS SOUNDS LIKE IT WAS PLANNED OUT WELL...NOT! An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines. The kidnapper then proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank account. (Maybe he should have pretended to have a brain!)WHEN YOU THINK YOU'RE HAVING A BAD DAY...READ THIS Fire investigators more...