Dreams Jokes / Recent Jokes

Sometimes when I reflect back on

Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel shamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.

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A Food Valentine

Cabbage always has a heart;
Green beans string along.
You're such a Tomato,
Will you Peas to me belong?
You've been the Apple of my eye,
You know how much I care;
So Lettuce get together,
We'd make a perfect Pear.
Now, something's sure to Turnip,
To prove you can't be Beet;
So, if you Carrot all for me
Let's let our tulips meet.
Don't Squash my hopes and dreams now,
Bee my Honey, dear;
Or tears will fill Potato's eyes,
While Sweet Corn lends an ear.
I'll Cauliflower shop and say
Your dreams are Parsley mine.
I'll work and share my Celery,
So be my valentine.

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Banta Called His Friend Santa And Told Him That He Recently Met The Woman Of His Dreams

Banta called his friend Santa and told him that he recently met the woman of his dreams. Now what should he do? Santa said, Send her some flowers and on the card invite her for a home-cooked meal. Banta liked the idea, so he invited the woman. The day after the meal Santa calls Banta and asks about the meal. Banta, It was a flop idea. Santa, Didn’t the girl come to your house? Banta, She did, but she refused to cook!

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All our dreams can come

All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them. - Walt Disney

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What dreams mean

After she woke up, a woman told her husband, "I just dreamedthat you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day. Whatdo you think it means?""You'll know tonight." he said.That evening, the man came home with a package and gave it tohis wife. Delighted, she opened it - to find a book entitled"The meaning of dreams"

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Legalese Christmas

Legalese Night Before Christmas*

THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS in Legalese (Author unknown)

Whereas, on or about the night prior to Christmas, there did occur at a certain improved piece of real property (hereinafter "the House") a general lack of stirring by all creatures therein, including, but not limited to a mouse.

A variety of foot apparel, e. g., stocking, socks, etc., had been affixed by and around the chimney in said House in the hope and/or belief that St. Nick a/k/a/ St. Nicholas a/k/a/ Santa Claus (hereinafter "Claus") would arrive at sometime thereafter. The minor residents, i. e. the children, of the aforementioned House were located in their individual beds and were engaged in nocturnal hallucinations, i. e. dreams, wherein vision of confectionery treats, including, but not limited to, candies, nuts and/or sugar plums, did dance, cavort and otherwise appear in said more...