Dress Jokes / Recent Jokes

I'm hungry = I'm hungry.I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy.I'm tired = I'm tired.Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.Can I call you sometime? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.May I have this dance? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.Nice dress! = Nice cleavage! You look tense, let me give you a massage. = I want to fondle you.What's wrong? = I don't see why your making such a big deal about this.What's wrong? = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now? What's wrong? = I guess sex tonight is out of the question.I'm bored. = Do you want to have sex? I love you. = Let's have sex now.I love you, too. = Okay, I said it... we'd better have sex now! Yes, I like the way you cut your hair. = I liked it better before.Yes, I like the way you cut your hair. = $50 and it doesn't look that much different! Let's talk. = I am trying to impress you more...

Little Johnny comes home from catholic school with a black eye. His father sees it and says "Johnny, how many times do I have to tell you not to fight with the other boys?"

"But Dad, it wasn't my fault. We were all in church saying our prayers. We all stood up, and my teacher in front of me had her dress in the crack of her butt, so I reached over and pulled it out. That's when she hit me! "

"Johnny!" the father said. "You don't do those kind of things to women."

Sure enough, the very next day Johnny came home with the other eye black and blue. Johnny's father said, "Johnny, I thought we had a talk!"

"But Dad!" Johnny said. "It wasn't my fault! There we were in church saying our prayers. We all stood up and my teacher in front of us had her dress in the crack of her butt. Then Lee who was sitting next to me saw it, and he reached over and pulled it out. Now I know she doesn't more...

Monica Lewinsky walks into her dry-cleaning store and tells the cleaner's clerk, "I've got another dress for you to clean."
Slightly hard of hearing, the clerk replies, "Come again?"
"No," says Monica. "It's Mustard..."

One day, there was this lady walking up the street, she was dressed in her best outfit because she was about to visit her fian-ce. As she walked through the park, she saw some guys, they said "hey miss, nice dress you got there", "thanks" she replied... so she kept walking
When she was about to turn inher boyfriend's street, she saw her worse enemy, it was a tall, totally hot model, and she though "damn, here she comes" the model waved at her and approached her rapidly... and she said "hey nice dress you have there!" she was surprised at her kindness and said in a low voice "thank you, nice dress you have too"
the model said, "oh yes, i know". Then she kept walking... and left her sight

A tearful woman phoned a reducing salon to wail that her husband had just given her a lovely present and she couldn't get into it. The operator gave her an appointment and added, "Don't worry, madam, we'll have you wearing that dress in no time."
"Dress?" the matron sobbed. "It's a Porsche!"

In a train compartment, there were 3 men and a ravishing young girl. The four passengers joined in conversation, which very soon turns to get erotic.

Suddenly, the young girl proposes, "If each of you give me $1. 00, I will show you my legs." The men, charmed by this young girl, all pulled a buck out of their wallet.

The girl then pulled her dress a bit to show her legs to them.

Now she says, "If each of you gentlemen give me $10. 00, I'll show you my thighs," and men being what they are, they all pulled out a ten dollar bill. The girl pulls up her dress all the way to her legs in full.

Conversation continues, and the men, a bit excited, have all taken off their coats.

Then the young girl says, "If you will give me $100, I will show you where I was operated on for appendicitis."

All three fork over the money. The girl then turned to the window and points outside at a building they're more...

Sardar got a Job as a cook in one home. One day sardar went in to his madams room with tea.
Madam got angry and said sardar, you should not come to my room like this, May be I am changing my dress. So you should take permission first by knocking the door before coming inside.
Sardar said, don't worry madam, I'll not enter in your room when you changing your dress, For making sure of that I am always looking thru the keyhole. and if you are changing your dress I am keep watching till you finish that, then only I comes inside........