Dress Jokes / Recent Jokes

Monica walks into her dry cleaning store and tells the guy: "I've got another dress for you to clean."
Slightly hard of hearing, the clerk replies, "Come again?"
"No," says Monica. "Mustard!"

Monica walks into her dry cleaning store and tells the guy: "I've got another dress for you to clean."Slightly hard of hearing, the clerk replies, "Come again?""No," says Monica. "Mustard!"

Week 1 - Memo No. 1
Effective this week, the company is adopting Fridays as Casual Day. Employees are free to dress in the casual attire of their choice.
Week 3 - Memo No. 2
Spandex and leather micro-miniskirts are not appropriate attire for Casual Day. Neither are string ties, rodeo belt buckles or moccasins.
Week 6 - Memo No. 3
Casual Day refers to dress only, not attitude. When planning Friday's wardrobe, remember image is a key to our success.
Week 8 - Memo No. 4
A seminar on how to dress for Casual Day will be held at 4 p.m. Friday in the cafeteria. A fashion show will follow. Attendance is mandatory.
Week 9 - Memo No. 5
As an outgrowth of Friday's seminar, a 14-member Casual Day Task Force has been appointed to prepare guidelines for proper casual-day dress.
Week 14 - Memo No. 6
The Casual Day Task Force has now completed a 30-page manual entitled "Relaxing Dress Without Relaxing Company Standards." A copy has been more...

A stunningly stacked blonde walked into a dress shop, and asked the manager, "I wonder if I might try on that blue dress in the window?"
"Go right ahead," he said. "It might help business."

Jack was returning to work Monday morning with two black eyes. His work mates were understandably curious:
"Jack, what happened to you?!?"
"It was the darndest thing! I was at church yesterday, and this fat lady stood up in front of me. You know how a dress can get stuck in the crack of the ass of a fat lady? It looked funny. I figured she wouldn't like that, so I just reached over and pulled it out with a little tug. Next thing I know, she spins around and socks me one!"
"Jeez, you got TWO black eyes in one blow?"
"Naw...After she turned back around, I figured she was angry that I pulled the dress out of her crack - so I tried to poke it back in."

Jack was returning to work Monday morning with two black eyes. His work mates were understandably curious:"Jack, what happened to you?!?""It was the darndest thing! I was at church yesterday, and this fat lady stood up in front of me. You know how a dress can get stuck in the crack of the ass of a fat lady? It looked funny. I figured she wouldn't like that, so I just reached over and pulled it out with a little tug. Next thing I know, she spins around and socks me one!""Jeez, you got TWO black eyes in one blow?""Naw...After she turned back around, I figured she was angry that I pulled the dress out of her crack - so I tried to poke it back in."

The teacher had caught Johnny gambling several times. She requested a conference with Johnny's dad who admitted that he also had tried to break Johnny of his gambling habit. After many failed efforts, Johnny one day (after school) called the teacher a hypocrite.

"Why do you say that, Johnny," she asked.

"Because you are."

Again she asked, "why."

He said, "Because you're not a true blonde."

She demanded to know how much money Johnny had. It came to about $50. She bet him $50 dollars she was a true blonde. She went behind her desk and removed her panties. Then she stood with her back to the door and pulled her dress up showing her radiantly blonde pubic hair. Afterwards she called the father and told him what she had done "in Johnny's best interest."

The father moaned and groaned and cried, "Oh, no," numerous times.

The teacher said, "Look, I did more...