Drink Jokes / Recent Jokes
A man saw his friend limping badly as he came towards him. "Yaar, how did you come by this injury to your leg?"
"I did not have enough to drink," replied the other.
"That does not make any sense! How can you hurt yourself by not having enough to drink?"
"Very simple," replied his friend, "if I had been really and fully drunk, I would have fallen down at the theyka. As I was half drunk, I tried to walk home, fell into a ditch and sprained my foot."
Q: How do Penguins drink their cola? A: On the rocks.
Cold shredded children and sea blubber in spicy sauce - China Indonesian Nazi Goreng - Hong Kong Muscles Of Marines/Lobster Thermos - Cairo French fried ships - Cairo Garlic Coffee - Europe Sole Bonne Femme (Fish Landlady style) - Europe Boiled Frogfish - Europe Sweat from the trolley - Europe Dreaded veal cutlet with potatoes in cream - China Rainbow Trout, Fillet Streak, Popotoes, Chocolate Mouse - Hong Kong Roasted duck let loose - Poland Beef rashers beaten up in the country peoples fashion - Poland Fried friendship - Nepal Strawberry crap - Japan Pork with fresh garbage - Vietnam Toes with butter and jam - Bali French Creeps - L. A. Fried fishermen - Japan Teppan Yaki - Before Your Cooked Right Eyes - Japan Pepelea's Meat Balls - Romania Product Names Clean Finger Nail - Chinese tissues Kolic - Japanese mineral water Creap Creamy Powder - Japanese Coffee Creamer Swine - Chinese chocolates Libido - Chinese soda Pocari Sweat - Japanese sport drink Shocking - Japanese chewing gum more...
An old cowboy, dressed in cowboy shirt, hat, jeans, spurs and chaps went to a bar, sat down, and ordered a drink. As he was sipping his whiskey, a young lady sat down next to him. After she ordered her drink she turned to the cowboy and asked him, "Are you a real cowboy?"
To which he replied, "Well, I've spent my whole life on the ranch herding cows, breaking horses, and mending fences... so I guess I am."
After a short while, he asked her what she was. She replied, "I've never been on a ranch so I'm not a cowboy, but I am a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think of women. When I eat, shower, watch TV - everything seems to make me think of women."
A short while later she left and the cowboy ordered another drink. A couple sat down next to him and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?"
To which he replied, "I always thought I was, but I just found out that I'm a lesbian."
John was sitting outside his local pub one day, enjoying a quiet pint and generally feeling good about himself, when a nun suddenly appears at his table and starts decrying the evils of drink. "You should be ashamed of yourself young man! Drinking is a Sin! Alcohol is the blood of the devil!" Now John gets pretty annoyed about this, and goes on the offensive. "How do you know this, Sister?" "My Mother Superior told me so." "But have you ever had a drink yourself? How can you be sure that what you are saying is right?" "Don't be ridiculous--of course I have never taken alcohol myself" "Then let me buy you a drink - if you still believe afterwards that it is evil I will give up drink for life" "How could I, a Nun, sit outside this public house drinking?!" "I'll get the barman to put it in a teacup for you, then no one will ever know." The Nun reluctantly agrees, so John goes inside to the bar. "Another more...
Inebriated drinker says to the bartender (with a drunken slur), "Bartender, buy everyone in the house a drink, pour yourself one, and give me the bill."
So, the bartender does just that and hands the man a bill for $37.00. The drunk says, "I haven't got it." The bartender slaps the guy around a few times then throws him out into the street.
The very next day the same drunk walks into the bar and once again says (with a drunken slur), "Bartender, buy everyone in the house a drink, pour yourself one, and give me the bill."
The bartender looks at the guy and figures to himself that he can't possibly be stupid enough to pull the same trick twice so he gives him the benefit of the doubt, pours a round of drinks for the house, has a drink himself and hands the drunk a bill for $37.00.
The drunk says, "I haven't got it."
The bartender can't believe it, so he picks the guy up, beats the living day lights out of him, and throws him more...
Inebriated drinker says to the bartender (with a drunken slur), "Bartender, buy everyone in the house a drink, pour yourself one, and give me the bill."So, the bartender does just that and hands the man a bill for $37.00. The drunk says, "I haven't got it." The bartender slaps the guy around a few times then throws him out into the street.The very next day the same drunk walks into the bar and once again says (with a drunken slur), "Bartender, buy everyone in the house a drink, pour yourself one, and give me the bill."The bartender looks at the guy and figures to himself that he can't possibly be stupid enough to pull the same trick twice so he gives him the benefit of the doubt, pours a round of drinks for the house, has a drink himself and hands the drunk a bill for $37.00.The drunk says, "I haven't got it." The bartender can't believe it, so he picks the guy up, beats the living day lights out of him, and throws him out into the street.The more...