Driver Jokes / Recent Jokes
It started out as just a simple fender-bender but a couple of hours later the driver, Chinnamma Sebastian, 49, Philadelphia, PA, wound up in a hospital in critical condition with multiple injuries. Sebastian stood in a grassy area near the location of the minor accident and watched as her car was hooked to the flatbed of a tow truck, when suddenly the 1988 Mercedes went into reverse and rolled off. The car ran over her and hit the tow truck driver, who suffered minor injuries. It finally stopped when it hit another tow truck.
On a senior citizen bus tour, the driver was surprised as, while the passengers were unloading to do some sightseeing, one elderly lady stopped and whispered in his ear, "Driver, I believe that I was sexually harrassed!"
The driver didn't think much of this complaint, but promised he would check into it soon. Later that very same day, as the passengers were unloading again, a second little old lady bent down and whispered in his ear, "Sir, I believe I was sexually harrassed!"
This time he knew it had to be taken care of soon. A few passengers had remained on the bus, and he decided to go back and question them to see if they had any knowledge of what was going on. He found one little old man crawling along the bus floor underneath the seats, and stooped down to question him. "Excuse me, sir, could I help you??"
The elderly man looked up and said, "Well, sonny, you sure can. I've lost my toupee and I'm trying to find it. I thought I'd more...
The slave driver of the Roman ship stared down at his slaves and yelled. "I've got good news and bad news. The good news is that you'll be getting double rations tonight."
The mumbling of the happy slaves was interrupted by the bellowing of the slave driver. "The bad news is that the commander's son wants to water ski."
Admi ki car k sath popat takra k behosh ho gaya.
Admi popat ko ghar le gaya pinjre me rakha diya.
Popat jag k bola AILA JAIL?
DRIVER MAR GAYA KYA?
Officer Patrick McGuire of the New York City Police Department answers a call on his radio and reports to the scene of a car accident in the Queens-Midtown Tunnel. Officer McGuire notes that a new Buick had its front end merged with the rear end of a Chrysler. The driver of the Buick was Father Francis O'Boyle; the driver of the Chrysler was Rabbi Isaac Goldstein.
After Officer McGuire verifies that Rabbi Goldstein has suffered no physical injuries in the accident, he walks back to survey the damages to each vehicle. Then, Officer McGuire walks over to Father O'Boyle and asks him: "Tell me, Father, how fast was that Rabbi going when he backed into you?"
After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus-stop and offered everyone in the queue a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
Texan prisons have banned convicts on death row from having last cigarette, on the grounds that it is bad for their health. However, to compensate for this, condemned men will instead be permitted to chew a stick of celery.
An American teenager was in hospital yesterday recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked about how he received the injuries, the lad told the police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train more...
A man and his wife were driving on the North-South highway on his way from Johor Bahru to Penang. Looking at his fuel gauge, he decided to stop at the next petrol station and fill up. About 15 minutes later, he spots a petrol station and pulls over to the high-octane pump. "What can I do for you?" asks the attendant. "Full tank of unleaded," replies the driver. While the attendant is filling up the tank, he's looking the car up and down. "What kind of car is this?" he asks. "I never seen one like it before." "Well," responds the driver, his chest swelling up with pride, "This, is the new Proton convertible." "What has got in it?" asks the attendant." Well," says the driver, "It has everything. It's loaded with power steering, power seats, power sun roof, power mirrors, AM/FM radio with a CD changer and VCD player in the trunk with 1000 watts per channel, 8 speaker stereo, rack and pinion steering, more...