Window Jokes

A couple was golfing one day on a very, very exclusive golf course, lined with million dollar houses. On the third tee the husband said, "Honey be very careful when you drive the ball-don't knock out any windows. It'll cost us a fortune to fix."The wife teed up and shanked it right through the window of the biggest house on the course. The husband cringed and said, "I told you to watch out for the houses! Alright let's go up there, apologize, and see how much that's going to cost."They walked up, knocked on the door, and heard a voice say, "Come on in." They opened the door and saw glass all over the floor and a broken bottle lying on its side on the foyer. A man on the couch said, "Are you the people that broke the window?""Uh yeah. Sorry about that," the husband replied. "No, actually I want to thank you. I'm a genie that was trapped for a thousand years in that bottle. You've released me. I'm allowed to grant three wishes - more...

One evening after work, a man drove his secretary home after she had a little too much to drink at a party. Although nothing happened, he decided not to mention it to his wife.
Later that night, the man and his wife were driving to a movie when he spotted a high-heeled shoe hidden under the passenger seat. Pointing to something out the passenger window to distract his wife, he picked up the shoe and tossed it out of his window.
They arrived at the theater a short time later and were about to get out of the car when his wife asked, "Honey, have you seen my other shoe?"

A policeman was patrolling near midnight at a local parking spotoverlooking a golf course. He drove by a car and saw a couple insidewith the dome light on. Inside there was a young man in the driver'sseat reading a computer magazine and a young lady in the back seatcalmly knitting.He stopped to investigate.He walked up to the driver's window and knocked. The young man lookedup, obligingly cranked the window down, and said, "Yes, Officer?""What are you doing?" the policeman asked."What does it look like?" answered the young man. "I'm readingthis magazine."Pointing towards the young lady in the back seat, the officer thenasked, "And what is she doing?"The young man looked over his shoulder and replied, "I think she'sknitting a sweater."Confused, the officer asked, "How old are you, young man?""I'm nineteen," he replied."And how old is she?" asked the officer.The young man looked at his watch and more...

Entering a bar and ordering a double, the man leaned over and confided to the bartender, "I am so pissed off!"
"Really?" What happened?" the bartender asked.
"Well, I met this gorgeous woman and she invited me back to her place.
We stripped off our clothes, jumped into bed and just as we're about to make love her damn husband came in the front door. So, I had to jump out the bedroom window and hang from the ledge by my fingernails!" the man explained.
"Gee, that really is tough!" replied the bartender.
"Right, but that's not what really got me angry," continued the man. "When her husband entered the room, he said, 'Great! You're already naked! Let me just take a leak'. Damned if the lazy bugger doesn't go and piss out the window right onto my head!"
"Yuck! No wonder you're in a lousy mood," said the bartender.
"Yeah, but I still haven't told you what really, really got to more...

A guy is walking along the strip in Las Vegas and a knockout hooker catches his eye. He strikes up a conversation and eventually asks the hooker, "How much?"
Hooker replies, "It starts at $500 for a hand-job."
Guy says, "$500 dollars! For a hand-job? No hand-job is worth that kind of money!"
The hooker says, "Do you see that Denny's on the corner?"
"Yes."
"Do you see the Denny's about a block further down?"
"Yes."
"And beyond that, do you see that third Denny's?"
"Yes."
"Well," says the hooker, smiling invitingly, "I own those. And, I own them because I give a hand-job that's worth $500."
Guy says, "What the hell? I'll give it a try."
They retire to a nearby motel. A short time later, the guy is sitting on the bed realizing that he just experienced the hand-job of a lifetime worth every bit of $500. He is so amazed, he more...