"Lousy Day" joke
Entering a bar and ordering a double, the man leaned over and confided to the bartender, "I am so pissed off!"
"Really?" What happened?" the bartender asked.
"Well, I met this gorgeous woman and she invited me back to her place.
We stripped off our clothes, jumped into bed and just as we're about to make love her damn husband came in the front door. So, I had to jump out the bedroom window and hang from the ledge by my fingernails!" the man explained.
"Gee, that really is tough!" replied the bartender.
"Right, but that's not what really got me angry," continued the man. "When her husband entered the room, he said, 'Great! You're already naked! Let me just take a leak'. Damned if the lazy bugger doesn't go and piss out the window right onto my head!"
"Yuck! No wonder you're in a lousy mood," said the bartender.
"Yeah, but I still haven't told you what really, really got to me," the man went on. "Then I had to listen to them grunting and groaning and when they finished, the husband tossed his condom out the window. Where does it land? You got it! Rght on my damn forehead!"
"Wow, that really is a drag!" commented the bartender.
"Oh, I'm not finished yet. What really pissed me off is when the husband had to take a dump. It seems their toilet is broken so he stuck his ass out the window and let loose right on my head!" exclaimed the man.
"That would really mess up my day," the bartender replied.
"No kidding," the man rattled on. "but do you know what REALLY, REALLY pissed me off? When I finally looked down I realized that my feet were only SIX inches off the ground!"
A story is told of a Jewish man who was riding on the subway reading an Arab newspaper. A friend of his, who happened to be riding in the same subway car, noticed this strange phenomenon. Very upset, he approached the newspaper reader.
"Moshe, have you lost your mind? more...
How many letters are in the alphabet?
There are 11 letters in "THE ALPHABET"
Did you say 26? :)
Boy: Did it hurt?
Girl: Did what hurt?
Boy: When you fell from heaven.
Girl: Aww, did it hurt when you got kicked out of hell?
Boy: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together.
Girl: Really? If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put F more...
A man was helping one of his cows give birth, when he noticed his 5-year-old son standing wide-eyed at the fence, taking in the whole event.
The man thought, "Oh, this is just great... he's only 5 and I'm going to have to start explaining all about the birds and the more...